Angie's Adventures

Moving forward

2011-09-04T00:04:00.003-04:00

It's been 3 weeks now since the attempted Sugarland concert and I've got some great news to report- Andrea, the woman we took care of, has left the hospital. She is now in a rehab facility and has a long road ahead of her, but the fact that she is doing as well as she is is a miracle. The neurosurgeons told her family that she had a matter of a few minutes between her living and dying when she arrived. To God be the glory! I have met with her family on multiple occasions and can truly say that they are incredible people. You can read more about them and follow Andrea's progress here. I know that we will stay in touch with them and we are looking forward to the day when we can really meet Andrea.

Kerwyn and I are both in much better places now than we were a couple of weeks ago. To say I was shaken up by the whole experience would be an understatement. All the trauma surgery training in the world can't prepare someone to be in the midst of all of that chaos and tragedy and to not be affected. I would be more concerned if I wasn't so affected by the incredible loss of life and health that the collapse inflicted. There are images and video reels that are seared in my mind and that I'm sure I'll never forget. I met with a counselor through IU Health to talk it out once which was moderately helpful. After my residency director got word of my involvement I had a mandated couple of days off which really helped me to get some space to rest a little and reflect and pray.

All in all, we're moving on and talking about things related to that night far less. I'm sleeping like a rock (thanks mostly to being on night shift for the month) and while my concern for Andrea and the others hasn't lessened, I am choosing to internalize it less because it's just not healthy. I feel immensely blessed to be equipped to be of some help in these situations. It has definitely further solidified my love for medicine. Tyler, Andrea's brother, posted about us on her blog and said, "We're never more like Jesus than when we're rescuing others." I love that and will definitely take that thought with me as I continue my training.

Just another day

2011-08-15T17:02:00.002-04:00

I'm going to type all this as a sort of therapy for me so bear with me here. It's been a traumatic couple of weeks.

Times in the OR have been abnormally intense for a couple of weeks. I felt like I was beginning to bounce back from it and was excited for my day off with Kerwyn to go on a date. Our plans included dinner at St Elmos steakhouse followed by the state fair. One of my staff had convinced me that we should go to the Sugarland concert (he had already given his 6th row tickets to someone else) and so we bought tickets after the opening act was over and walked into the grandstand. We got comfortable and were excited for the show. We noticed some lightning in the distance which was news to us since we had no idea a storm was coming. We were kind of excited for a great concert and a fun lightning show in front of us. Someone in front of us showed us their smartphone weather radar which made me a little concerned but someone came on stage and explained that the show would continue and that they would let us know if we needed to evacuate.

Just a couple of minutes later an erie wind picked up and sent dirt flying everywhere. Before we could even react the tarp blew off the set and seconds later the whole stage collapsed. It was terrifying. I was afraid it was a tornado and that the grandstand would be coming down next and wanted to get out of there. Kerwyn had a different plan and pinned me to the bleachers so we didn't get blown away or trampled. He told me to start praying and so I sent a desperate plea to God to get us out of there. It was chaos with people screaming and crying and scrambling for cover all around. A long 30 seconds or so later I convinced Kerwyn that we needed to get off the bleachers. We climbed over bleachers to avoid the crowd on the stairs all the way down and ran onto the track to help.

There was an oddly clear path for us to the far end of the stage from where we were sitting so we just ran up there to see how we could help. En route someone threw a paramedic bag at us which I really think was divine intervention. We came to one girl with her cheek ripped off but otherwise ok so we moved on to another girl who was unconscious. We assessed her and got out a bag/mask device and began breathing for her. She had a pulse but was unresponsive. We just stayed with her while others came to help as well. The stage structure was clearly still unstable and people were moving it trying to get people out from under it. It was terrifying. Someone else held a tarp over us so our patient wasn't drenched and hypothermic in the process. We used some chairs as a makeshift stretcher and carried her out to where the ambulances were supposed to be coming. We saw a couple of dead bodies in the process and lots of other seriously injured people. It felt like forever before the first ambulance showed up.

Kerwyn fought and got us on one of the first ambulances with another sick patient. We rode in breathing for her all the way to Methodist. Once there I quickly informed the trauma team (my fellow residents and staff) that there were tons more that would be coming and more resources were quickly mobilized. Kerwyn stayed and helped keep ambulances moving through quickly and I took care of several of the other trauma patients.

It was amazing to see how everyone pulled together. I did some quick procedures that helped stabilize a couple of patients and then helped keep people moving through the ED with countless neurosurgery and orthopedic surgery consults. Our initial patient was the first one whisked back to the OR with the neurosurgeons.

Today I got to meet her family who were so relieved to meet one of the people who took care of their daughter/wife/mom/friend. It was really emotional as they just thanked me profusely and realized the miracle it was that God put Kerwyn and I there to help get her quickly to the ED and off to surgery. The neurosurgeons said she got to the ED just in the nick of time. I'm not sure what her outcome will eventually be but I'll keep a close eye on her and spend more time visiting with this family that I have an instant bond with.

I am so thankful for my medical training in instances like this. We had several other doctors come up and offer to help and every patient there had multiple trained medical personnel with them. It was incredible but awful. There was something neat about taking care of a patient with Kerwyn and experiencing what it is like to try and get anything done while the ambulance is careening around the city. It has been amazing to reflect on the whole experience and realize how it all lined up perfectly for us to even be at the concert and to be equipped to care for this one girl and quickly get her to the hospital.

I've been thinking about the Mother Theresa quote, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." While I'm ok without all this action I pray God continues to bless me with opportunities to reach out to others in whatever form that takes.

Duncan Hospital

2011-06-26T11:26:00.004-04:00

The main place we wanted to visit in India was Duncan Hospital. It is part of the Emmanuel Hospital Association network which is a Christian organization that has lots of hospitals throughout northern India and is led by Indians and staffed by I would guess 98% Indians at least. Most of the doctors are from southern India which has a much higher concentration of Christians than the north. They are as much missionaries as I would be in the sense that most are thousands of miles from their families and their children are in boarding schools equally far away. They get a few western physicians that come for a while, but their focus is on equipping Indians to serve Indians. I love the organization and have huge respect for the work they're doing. Duncan Hospital is the largest of EHA's hospitals. They have 2 fulltime surgeons whom we spent most of our time with. Dr Sunil (in picture below) is the senior surgeon and heads up the medical aspects of the hospital. The other surgeon is a female- Dr Minee or something like that- I never actually saw her name printed but everyone called her "Mini".

We were amazed at how much time they spent with us while we were there. Kerwyn and I basically hung out with the surgeons everyday and had some really neat conversations along the way. We went into the trip wanting to explore further how we could best serve the people of India specifically with my training in surgery and the staff there seemed to understand this. It became clear to us that they really don't need another surgeon here- not to say that there isn't the need for surgeons in other parts of India or the world, but not here.

What they seemed most interested in was bouncing ideas off of me and seeing how we do things in the US. They are not as advanced as we are with laparoscopic surgery (minimally invasive surgery) and really wanted me to teach them how to do some bigger surgeries laparoscopically. Unfortunately for them, I am rusty after a year off and don't have a strong liking for laparoscopic surgery. Either way, it gave me motivation to care more about laparoscopic surgery knowing that I could take these skills overseas and train other surgeons in them. It blows my mind to realize I've already done as much or more laparoscopic surgery than their most senior surgeon and I'm only through 2 years of my surgical training.

Through several conversations we got varying views on how the west could best come alongside them. They all acknowledged the barriers to westerners really being effective in a missionary capacity compared to native Indians. One physician said, "Jesus didn't ask who would pay but who would go" which was definitely food for thought. Other than that physician the others seemed to suggest us adopting more of a supporting role in what they are doing- pray for them, send money, come for shorter terms and teach them different techniques, watch for equipment hospitals are getting rid of as they upgrade and send it to their hospitals.... It was amazing as they showed us around how much of their equipment that allows them to do what they do was donated from overseas- for example, all of their laparoscopic equipment was sent when a hospital in Germany or somewhere was upgrading their equipment. I had never thought that big before- that I could help them get valuable equipment that our hospitals would probably just dispose of that would enable them to provide a higher level of care than before its arrival.

So all in all, we had a fantastic time with them. They would love to have others visit so let me know if you ever want to go and I'll give you their contact information. I have no doubt that we will visit Duncan Hospital and hopefully many of their other hospitals when I finish my training and have much more surgical experience and skill to offer. When and where we go and for how long are up to God but we're certainly enjoying the journey and open to wherever God leads.

Trip Recap

2011-06-10T15:52:00.003-04:00

We got back last Sunday from our whirlwind world tour. We had a blast and did surprisingly well with all the flights, trains, long car rides, etc.... I feel so blessed to be married to Kerwyn. In nearly 3 weeks of nonstop time together I never got sick of him and we got along splendidly.

The trip was a dream come true for me in a few ways. 1st- I was in India with my husband. He adjusted well to the unique oddities of India better than most and is open to returning in whatever capacity God leads us. After my first trip to India I said I was never returning there and kissed the ground at the Bangkok airport (1st ground I touched after leaving India) so I'd say he adjusted much better than I did. I'd like to think that I'm a much better trip planner than Teen Mania was with me, but regardless he handled it very well. We did number his meltdowns along the way, but more for comic relief than anything else. They were never anything major but moments when the differences between the US and India just became overwhelming.
2nd- He proposed to me at the Taj Mahal :) That was always my dream way of being proposed to and so it was a hilarious gesture that drew a lot of attention.
3rd- We rode a gondola in Venice which was on my life goals list. While I wouldn't make a good travel agent for Venice the gondola ride was as magical as I imagined it would be.

I'll fill you in on some fun stories in the upcoming days but I'm going to get back to work for now- I only have 2 weeks to finish all my "research work" before going back to real work in the hospital!

We're Off

2011-05-18T15:13:00.001-04:00

We're heading to Chicago for our flight to Helsinki to begin our adventure. As I have been communicating with the surgeon I am going to be spending time with my excitement keeps building for our time with him. Here's a quote that I resonate with:

When the dream of our heart is one that God has planted there, a strange happiness flows into us. At that moment, all of the spiritual resources of the universe are released to help us. Our praying is then at one with the will of God and becomes a channel for the Creator’s purposes for us and our world. -Catherine Marshall

It's been 8 years since I've been in India- a place and people that I know God has given me a special love for. I can't wait to be back!

Quotable

2011-05-17T15:05:00.003-04:00

I stumbled upon this quote today from Katie Hammontree- a girl my age who died of leukemia a few years ago. I might have posted it before but I love it so I'm posting it again.

I am a Christian. Not because my grandfather is, not because his grandfather was…not because Grove Level planned the best activities when I was in middle school. I am a Christian because I have studied the life of Christ and it is good and it is love…and it is triumphant.

I have never thrown my arms up in excitement or run around the sanctuary or shouted out to God during a sermon or fainted or swayed or been “slain in the Spirit” or spoken in tongues…or handled snakes (smile).

It’s all I can do to clap in time to praise music…but I can hear Him whisper and I have felt Him only inches away if any at all and He has touched me and my insides stand in attention and my heart is red and it beats hard and fast and if you turn me inside out like an orange there would be some fantastic celebration with parades and ferris wheels and fireworks and marching bands and jelly beans and pinwheels and fire eaters and hula hoops and…fat ladies in polka dots and lions and popcorn and acrobats.

I pray that you might know my insides and realize that although I don’t believe as you do…I believe with passion and with love and with direction of thought and purpose…not with a simple, gross obedience to a church or a pastor or a cause….All I know is that in the end it will be as God has planned and man can not interfere.

And God is love. Love is everything.

Travel Insanity

2011-05-15T19:43:00.003-04:00

This week Kerwyn and I embark on the coolest adventure yet in our married life. We're traveling to Finland, India, Nepal and Italy. How you might ask could we afford all this? It is due to the sheer insanity of the itinerary that we got an unbelievable ticket price. Oh, and we spend less and save to have money to travel with. Your next question would logically be "why?". As a lover for travel I say "why not?". We wanted to take some sort of epic trip before I go back to real work in July and as I mentioned a while ago I really felt like we should go to India together as this is our last chance to do so for a long time. As we started looking for flights to India we found this crazy itinerary and booked the flight at 2am one impulsive morning. Here are the predicted highlights of the trip:

enjoying an authentic Finnish sauna experience
serving alongside an Indian surgeon in rural India
walking the streets of India with my husband (man have I dreamed of this for a long time!)
an elephant ride safari in Royal Chitwan National Park in Nepal (on Kerwyn's bday)
22 minute (white-knuckled) flight on Budda Air to Kathmandu
boat ride on Ganges River
2 overnight train journeys in northern India (I imagine lots of people grabbing my blonde hair and even more shouting "chai, chai, coffee, coffee, chai")
touring the Taj Mahal
wandering the streets of Milan
gondola ride in Venice
gelato, gelato, and more gelato followed by a few good crepes
two and a half weeks of uninterrupted time with my husband

God is so good and I am full of gratitude and anticipation for all that we are going to experience together. I promise lots of good pictures and stories when we return!

Jockey Insanity

2011-05-05T14:54:00.000-04:00

The above picture is the locker of Calvin Borel, the jockey who has won 3 Kentucky Derbys including the last 2 Derbys.

The major take-home point from the "behind-the-scenes" tour that we took is that jockeys have a crazy job. For the Kentucky Derby they have to weigh (with all their gear) exactly 126 lbs. Not one pound more or less. So before their weigh-in if they need to lose weight there is this tub of torture that they go into. Before they get in they pour rubbing alcohol all over their body to dilate their pores. Then they get into the 130 degree water for 10 minutes. They get out with blisters and burns all over their body but 2 pounds lighter. They told us that to lose 2 lbs in the sauna they have it would take 3 straight hours in the sauna. So obviously they have major eating disorders among many of the jockeys. To add weight they have weighted saddle pads of varying weights. They get paid roughly $80 to ride a horse in any race (it varies based on what their agent negotiates) and they get around 10% of the prize winnings. They can ride in 8 or so races a day- all of which could require a different weight.

Sounds healthy right?

The last picture is the paddocks where the jockeys get on their horses to ride them onto the track.

Kentucky Derby

2011-05-04T14:47:00.004-04:00

Kerwyn and I took a trip to southern Indiana and Louisville for a couple of days just because. We toured Churchill Downs where the Kentucky Derby will be this Saturday. It was seriously the most enjoyable museum I can remember visiting. Kids would love it because it is really interactive. We even got to play a videogame where we were the jockeys riding fake horses and racing each other. It was fun.

Doesn't Kerwyn pull off the jockey outfit far better than I do?

Nail Polish

2011-04-24T22:50:00.004-04:00

I'm going to go a little girly on you here for a minute. Every month I get a Birchbox in the mail with fun deluxe samples of products (hair, makeup, nails, perfume, skincare...). It is like Christmas every month when I get the box (thanks Shannon for the great recommendation!) all for $10 per month. It actually saves me money because I don't wander through Sephora and end up spending way too much money.
This month's box included a nail polish from Zoya that is phenomenal. It is the first nailpolish I've had that doesn't get rubbed off by my rock climbing shoes or really anything else. There's no chipping or anything. They have eliminated all sorts of chemicals that people are allergic to which is also a bonus. I was just on their website to consider ordering a few other colors since I haven't had new nailpolish in years when I found this deal for Earth Day. Basically for $4 per bottle you can have all the nailpolish you want and then you can send them your old nasty crusty ones and have them safely dispose of them.
So if you're needing some new nail polish I've gotta recommend this stuff. That's it. I'm done being girly. I'm going to go amputate a leg or something to balance out my hormones now.

March Madness

2011-04-12T17:58:00.000-04:00

This year I decided to become more involved with march madness. Previously my only real involvement was my senior year in high school where lots of students wore the same t-shirt for a month straight. While I don't think I did anything crazy this year I did watch more basketball than normal. The men's tournament was fun since Butler did so well, at least until the championship game. Either way they were fun to follow. My real attention was on the women's tournament as my parents are season ticket holders to ND women's basketball. Mom, Kerwyn and I drove to Dayton, OH for the sweet sixteen and elite eight games. They were a blast to watch as ND played great basketball.

One of the items on mom's bucket list is to attend a final four basketball tournament so we already had tickets to the women's final four in Indy before we knew ND would be in it. It only got better as ND beat U Conn in the final four, a team that receives a vast majority of the attention in women's basketball. That was a fun night! The championship game was not quite as good. ND lost in a close game to a team I truly believe they were better than.

Throughout the tournament I realized that its not as fun to cheer your team on when you have fans of the other team nearby. Fans are crazy and obnoxious and some have voices that make you believe they are using a megaphone as the gentleman behind us had. For this reason I think my basketball cheering in the future will likely be from home unless I can get assured tickets within my teams section.

Regardless, it was a fun time with my mom and she can cross it off her bucket list. Thanks for letting me share the experience with you mom!

Spring Fun

2011-04-11T17:47:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lack of regular posting during my epic year of fun (aka research year). Since my last post lots of fun times have been had (and lots of fairly mundane hours writing abstracts and manuscripts). The highlights that I can recall at the moment include buying a new car, lots and lots of rock wall climbing including a double date with 2 very good friends of ours, March Madness (which I'll post more about later), reading several good books, and trying to grow a yard.

Last year we had a major drought and heat spell that killed many previously nice yards. I am still recovering from our weekend of digging up large dead portions of our yard and planting new seed. Our friends Brad and Ashley rented a slot seeder and we joined the fun in trying to improve both of our yards.

My Valentine

2011-02-14T13:02:00.002-05:00

One year ago today I picked out the dress I would marry Kerwyn in. That was an incredible day as the reality that I was getting married really set in. The past year has been an amazing whirlwind and by far the best year of my life. I love you Kerwyn. You make the ordinary moments extraordinary.

The Flu

2011-01-31T18:10:00.002-05:00

I made a big mistake over the past couple of months. I, through a simple error of omission, didn't get my flu shot this year (I don't miss it when working with patients). The reality of that mistake became clear Tuesday when I was becoming more and more miserable through the day and Kerwyn finally said, "I think you're getting the flu."

As a physician I have the nice perk of being able to call in prescriptions for myself or having a friend do so. Last year when I got the swine flu I quickly realized the problem, called in for tamiflu and was back to work after 48 hours of isolation.

Things didn't go as smoothly this year (for some reason CVS couldn't process a new prescription at 12:15am due to different time zones). I don't even know how that is possible, but either way I didn't get the drugs. I woke up the next morning with a rash on my trunk that eventually spread down my legs (it was sexy). When I showed up at my doctor's office I was struggling to breathe enough that he gave me a breathing treatment (amazing effect!) and sent me to the ER. After a long day of subpar care I was diagnosed with influenza (shocking!) and sent off with an inhaler and tamiflu prescription.

I hate being sick. It's good for me as it makes me more empathetic of patients, but I seriously hate it. I can't stand having to stay home and lay around all day. Plus I missed my annual surgery in-training exam. Any other year I would have been ok with that but this year I was ready to destroy that test. We also missed our reservation for a hot date at St Elmo's Steak House which made me very sad.

Thankfully I'm back to near normal but have learned a valuable lesson: Get your flu shot!

Officer Moore

2011-01-29T14:30:00.001-05:00

A police officer was shot and killed in Indy this past week. It has been big news here and apparently has been part of the bigger news of all the violence towards officers in the last couple of weeks. His funeral is Tuesday. I read this in the paper about what to expect at the funeral:

"There will be a horse and there will be boots in the saddle but no rider because the rider has been killed,” Moran said. “They will have his patrol car with the windshield all blacked out, draped with a black cloth."

Then one of the most emotional moments marking the death of their friend and fellow officer will come.

"During the funeral procession they will do his final sign off on the air,” Moran said. “The dispatcher will come on, he will be called to duty and he will be signed off for the final time."
Every officer on patrol will hear the final sign off. Officers from around the country are expected for the funeral, and many will pitch in by taking over IMPD shifts, so the fellow officers can pay their respects.

He was 29. I can't imagine the profound grief his family and friends are experiencing.

Blue Guitar

2011-01-17T14:39:00.003-05:00

As my friends from Taylor have unfortunately experienced first-hand I have a blue guitar that I really like to play. My senior year at Taylor I bought it for $50 on ebay and signed up for a guitar class on campus (I guess you could say I had some senioritis). I had so much fun with the one song I learned- Amazing Grace. I didn't have the energy to really learn many other songs so I sat in our dorm suite and played "Amazing Grace" for hours. I loved it. I think I was the only one who did. I never bought a tuner and quickly started medical school so it sat around for years untouched. Recently Kerwyn got it out, tuned it and I played around for a few minutes. He quickly realized that the piece that holds all the strings in was about to pop off (I'm telling you this was a high-quality guitar I purchased). So he went to work with gorilla glue and he put new strings on it (I didn't know how) and tuned it for the first time in many years. It is fun having my blue guitar with even more character back.

Epic holidays

2011-01-09T15:35:00.005-05:00

After being on call in the hospital for the last two Christmases I knew I wanted to spend time with as much family as possible this year. It just so happened that my wonderful Grandpa rented out a large home in Phoenix for our entire family to spend a week over Christmas together. It was great to be with family for Christmas- most of whom I had never spent a single Christmas with (at least not since I have been old enough to remember it).

Some of the highlights of the trip included

hiking South Mountain
attending Christmas eve service with family- even if it was a somewhat odd service
sitting in the hot tub at night
watching a coyote run down the road
sitting around the fire at night
Christmas gift exchange- I was betrayed by my husband who stole my gift, but sweat justice was served when I scored a phenomenal hat. Grandpa stole the ipod my dad had opened. It was fun all around.
Grandpa joined facebook
Rock Band
Spa day at JW Marriott
evening games- Mexican train, scat, poker
A round of golf with my brother, mom and Kerwyn

Thanks for a great week Grandpa!

Proud to be an American

2010-12-02T15:53:00.002-05:00

I received this email today about a background investigation the VA Hospital was running on me (standard procedure).

This e-mail serves as a notification to the applicant that your background investigation was favorably adjudicated (completed). Due to the Applicants position sensitivity level, the Department was required under Title 5, US Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Part 731, “Suitability”, to conduct a Background Investigation and adjudicate the case using Title 5, CFR, Part 731, Subpart B, Suitability Determinations.

Thank you, for your cooperation during the background investigation process.

I seriously have no idea what this means. I think I passed.

India

2010-11-18T10:02:00.005-05:00

As pretty much everyone who knows me knows India holds a very dear place in my heart. My first trip was a tough 3 weeks in Calcutta that left me thinking I would never go back to India. In fact when I landed in Thailand on my way home I kissed the ground (I have a picture of it) and said, "I'm never going back to India". God has a funny way of nudging me to do just those things that I say I will never do. In college I felt a building desire to go back to India and ended up going for 2 months to work at a hospital in the foothills of the Himalayas. It was amazing and life-changing.

I haven't been in 7 years and have had both a longing to go back and at times a dulled interest as I've been quite caught up in my surgical training. In the past few weeks I have sensed God really softening my heart after a pretty brutal 2 years of surgical residency. Heather, my college roommate, suggested I read, "The Hole in Our Gospel" by the President of World Vision.

Before I even started the book something crazy happened to me Sunday night. Kerwyn and I went to church and they took a week break in the series they are doing and had a "vision night". They are very committed to sending missionaries- both short and long term and were casting vision for the teams they plan to send out all over the world in the coming year. I immediately noted the trip to Chennai but told myself that we shouldn't go on that trip. I had all the usual reasons- the high cost for such a short trip, it wasn't using any of our medical training, and it just didn't make sense. Then they showed a video of a guy who went to India last year and he said, "There's nothing like it" speaking of being in India. I found myself getting teary eyed but was trying to hold it together. Then another man got up and spoke. At one point he played a sound recording of one of the 5 daily calls to prayer he heard for the Muslim community. As soon as I heard the sound it took me back there and I just started sobbing. It was crazy because I'm not one to cry but I just couldn't stop crying for the billion people of India- many of whom don't know Jesus and lack the means to even care for themselves and their families. I couldn't stop crying. I told God, "I get it. I'll go, but can you help me stop crying?" I eventually did and headed home confident that we should take a trip together to India to serve and really listen to where God is leading us as a couple. As soon as Kerwyn saw me crying he knew we were going to be going to India soon. I love that he just knew what was going on in my heart.

So anyways, we're going to continue to pray and brainstorm ideas on where to go and what to do. We had planned on having one big trip before going back to real hospital work July 1st so instead of a crazy European bike tour or some other trip we'll hopefully be going to India together for the first time. Thankfully we have no shortage of contacts there. We're open to ideas so let us know if you have any!

Crossfit

2010-11-17T19:33:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago Kerwyn and I took a Crossfit exercise class with our friends Paul and Shawn (she's a trainer at Crossfit Carmel). It was insane. We only did half the amount of each exercise as the regular folks but I was sore for days.

Any workout where they have to explain rhabdomyolysis (muscle breakdown due to over-exertion or injury that can damage your kidneys...) to you at the end is perhaps a bit excessive...which is probably why I loved it so much. At one point Kerwyn looked at me and said something to the effect of, "you're really enjoying this aren't you?" with a look of disbelief in his eyes.

While the crossfit gym is too far to attend reguarly we've been incorporating some of their principles into our workouts. As a result I'm sitting on the couch tonight with a heating pad on my hamstrings from a workout over 2 days ago. Good times....

The Windy City

2010-10-31T18:01:00.000-04:00

Twice last week I traveled to Chicago. The first time was with my mom and her small group for a fun birthday celebration for her. It was fun to meet more of her friends and hear some of their stories. I don't have any pictures since I didn't have my camera with me. You'll just have to imagine pictures of mom and her friends laughing with their hair blowing perfectly in the wind.

Later in the week Kerwyn and I spent a day in Chicago wandering around. We had lunch at Harry Carey's (great restaurant), wandered around, saw a couple of wedding parties taking pictures, and took in Navy Pier. We even had a very enjoyable, although short, ride on the ferris wheel. I do have pictures from that trip because Kerwyn is very good about taking pictures.

Neither trip had a very smooth train experience. The first trip was marred by a train sliding door smashing my face in. That might be a bit dramatic but it hit my temple hard enough to leave me pretty dazed for a day or so and with a nice swollen and tender area around my right eye. On the second trip Kerwyn and I were enjoying a peaceful trip when they made us get off the train in Gary, Indiana of all places to get onto a bus for a few minutes and then reload onto a different train a few miles down the track that apparently was undergoing repairs. You can imagine it wasn't a quick process to unload what ended up being 4 very full busloads of people off of and back onto a train (hence the picture of Kerwyn with the thumbs-up in the very classicly decorated bus). Either way it was a fun couple of days in Chicago.

Canoe Trip

2010-10-30T17:52:00.004-04:00

Kerwyn and I spent a wonderful afternoon in prime fall weather canoeing. It was beautiful. To call the canoeing company sketchy would be an understatement but they didn't harm us as we feared they might. We decided that next year we need to do one of their longer trips.

Turkey Run

2010-10-17T17:04:00.000-04:00

This has become one of my favorite parks for several reasons.
1. It's beautiful.
2. I forget I'm in Indiana.
3. It's where our engagement pictures were taken.
4. We've shared some great times hiking around together here.

October is probably the best time of year to go so we spent an afternoon wandering the trails. Weather permitting, I'm hoping to go canoeing here next week.

Julie and Julia

2010-10-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

The first movie Kerwyn and I ever saw together was Julie and Julia. I did not enjoy it. He did. I think I just wasn't interested in cooking so I felt like I was watching a cooking show for two hours. However, thanks to the generosity of many people who have blessed us with a well-stocked kitchen I am thoroughly enjoying cooking. Plus, I miss operating like crazy and so cooking is the only opportunity I've found to cut stuff. Kerwyn and I are enjoying trying new meals together. This was my first time making steaks (thank you mom and dad for giving us Omaha's finest). Kerwyn mastered the side dishes.

Go Irish

2010-10-15T16:51:00.002-04:00

Kerwyn and I were given tickets to last week's ND vs Pitt game for our wedding. It was Kerwyn's first college football experience and we had a great time cheering our (I use that word loosely although I think he's becoming a fan) Irish on. We even went to the pep rally Friday night with my parents. It was quite the scene. I could have done without the cheerleaders but that's pretty typical for me I guess.

The Nations Triathlon

2010-09-15T19:04:00.000-04:00

Let me just say that before the race it was miserable- pouring rain (hence our soaked bodies in the first picture) and we had to be there by around 6 am. Kerwyn started 95 minutes before I did but we both stood in the cold for a long time. I was soaking wet and cold for 3 hours before my race started. I regretted signing up for those hours of shaking in my pruned body.

As you can see once I was close to actually starting the race I was very excited to just get started (hence the thumbs up). I went into it with the mentality that I just didn't want to drown in the Potomac River and I was planning on a leisurely ride and walk through the city (I trained, but not as well as I could have). The swim went ok, but I hoped for a better time. However I also hoped to not get clubbed in the face with someone's nasty foot so it just wasn't my day in those regards. I drank a fair amount of the Potomac but my body has managed it well (it couldn't be worse than the Zambezi River).

After lazily drying off and getting on the bike crazy competitive Angie reared to life when I felt as strong as I ever have on my bike. Despite the rain I pushed my tempo faster than I thought sustainable and saved nothing for the run since I was planning on walking it anyways. When I got off the bike my legs felt better than expected for the brutal transition to running. So I decided to keep running as I believed I was having the race of my life. It was rainy and cold which is pretty ideal weather for running at least (apart from the water-logged shoes).

It turns out my overall time was 10 minutes slower than my last Olympic distance triathlon but I was still happy with my performance. I spent 8 minutes in the first transition since at that point I didn't care about my time so that didn't help the cause. Here's the breakdown for all 3 of you who care:

Swim 1500m 34:35
Transition 1 8:31
Bike (40K) 1:20:20
Transition 2 3:04
Run (10 K) 59:30

Overall 3:05:59
I came in 190 out of 393 for 25-29 year old females. Yes, it was that huge of a race, plus I'm in a pretty big age group.

I'm sure there will be many more triathlons to come in our future!

Washington DC

2010-09-14T18:40:00.004-04:00

Kerwyn and I had a great time traveling to DC and participating in the Nation's Triathlon. We didn't die and it was our first road trip together and we weren't even tired of each other by the end so it was a success all around. We stayed at my aunt and uncle's apartment in VA which was great (thanks again!). They have a trail we could bike all the way into the city on which we did. It was surreal, but nice (catch the Notting Hill reference?) biking around the White House and all the monuments. We had a nice stroll through Roosevelt Island with Brad, Jodie and Meryl and they were able to help us maneuver the tricky logistics of such a huge triathlon. They even stood in the rain cheering us on.

We took a tour of the US Capitol building complete with tours of both the House of Representatives and Senate galleries. By the way, those tickets are harder to get as US Citizens than as someone from another country which we found to be quite ironic. I am somewhat obsessed with the State of the Union address every year and so it was amazing to sit in the gallery where that occurs. The picture of us with cool headphones on is in the Rotunda ignoring our incredibly lame tour guide.

We also wandered through the Library of Congress, Bureau of Engraving and Printing (the new $100 bills to be released next year are pretty nice), the typical monuments.... Our bike ride into the city was a fantastic way to spend a day and burn some serious calories. The crazy hair was immediately after I took my bike helmet off so please don't judge.

Muddy Buddy

2010-09-08T08:46:00.000-04:00

Upon the immediate return from our honeymoon we repacked and headed to Chicago for the Muddy Buddy race with our friends Osi and Enola. We had a fun day wandering around Chicago and then on Sunday got up early for our race. It was much more intense than we expected. It was 5.6 miles or something like that of running and biking- in a fair amount of mud obviously. The biking was ridiculously hard (thanks to the mud and hills) and the running was just tough because I wasn't in shape to slosh through mud with water-filled running shoes.
It is called Muddy Buddy because it is a team event. We had a competition- girls vs boys (they won by 2 minutes). They started over an hour before us and so were already cleaned off when we finished (hence they are clean in the pictures). The end of the race is a swim through a mud pit which ensure that your entire body is covered in mud. It was a blast!

Married Life

2010-09-07T08:27:00.003-04:00

Our honeymoon in St Lucia was great but being back home and settling in together has been even better in my mind. It has been a blast being a newlywed for the past nearly 2 months. It is amazing how much you learn about someone by living together! Kerwyn is seriously hilarious. He makes me laugh on a daily basis. Sometime you should ask him about his laundry regimen. He is very particular about the way his clothes are washed and I have yet to understand it, but it cracks me up every time I think about it. The transition has been really smooth for us and tons of fun. I'm sure my work schedule (or lack of one) this year has helped significantly. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Kerwyn. I am so excited for our future together! Just for fun here are a couple of pictures from our honeymoon. Yes, we look dorky in our horseback riding helmets- that is the beauty of the picture.

Expect the Unexpected

2010-08-17T16:59:00.002-04:00

I can't restart blogging without first telling everyone the best story of our wedding day.

Going into the wedding I had heard many people say that despite the best planning something will go wrong on your wedding day. I believed them but wasn't worried because I would like to think that I was appropriately laid back and could roll with it.

On our wedding morning I was quite emotional and trying to just hold it together-they were good emotions but as a surgery resident I guess I'm not used to dealing with really strong emotions anymore. I got ready at my house with bridesmaids, my parents, Leslie and Sam Petersen, and then our photographer and her entourage. At the time what I didn't know was that Leslie and my dad had seen the limo driver pull up, strip down from the waist up and change into clean clothes in our cul-de-sac. They were horrified but didn't want to tell me. When he walked into the house he wasn't quite what I expected in a limo driver but I didn't care. I was just excited to go see Kerwyn (we were taking pictures beforehand).

So mom, dad, Christy (our photographer) and myself climbed into the limo. I was immediately struck by how hot the inside was since the engine was "running". The limo man also pulled my dad aside to get his credit card from him and clarify that he would take any additional tip that my dad would like to give him (he already had Kerwyn's card). As he started driving I was immediately alarmed by the fact that he went in a very circuitous route to the meeting place down a road riddled with construction in a raunchy part of town. We sputtered down the road with cars honking and restarted the engine several times. Eventually the engine wouldn't restart. I asked the driver what Plan B was. At first he wouldn't respond to me and so I spoke louder. He didn't have a plan because his "company" wasn't answering their phones. We sat in our personal sauna for a few minutes with cars honking before mom noticed the heat rash spreading across my body. At that point I knew I was getting out of the limo. So we climbed out into busy traffic (I wish you could have seen the moment people realized a bride was getting out of the limo). The tone changed as people shouted condolences about our situation. I was laughing as this seemed hilarious. I then realized that we couldn't just sit in the sun baking and the only building nearby was a porn shop.

So mom, dad, myself and the photographer wandered into the porn shop to cool off on my wedding day. We laughed a lot. The workers were very nice and even offered us water if we wanted it. I just needed to go to the bathroom so in my wedding dress mom helped me use one of the nastier bathrooms I've been in in a long time.

I used my parents phone and with the photographer's help we were able to redirect a couple of cars to come pick us up (thanks Tara!).

Had he gone the route that I expected/wanted him to take we would have likely broken down on the interstate so it all worked out wonderfully.

It was a very eventful start to the day. What it did that I am so grateful for was change the entire tone of the day from one of nerves to one of pure joy. It was a hilarious situation that helped us all to relax and just enjoy the day knowing that we had pretty much seen it all at that point (no pun intended). An extra bonus was having our photographer there to capture it all on camera. The pictures are hilarious!

I'm Back!

2010-08-12T22:21:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the horrible delay for those of you still following this blog. Planning a wedding and being a surgical resident were pretty much all I could handle for the past few months. The wedding is over and Kerwyn and I are adjusting to life as newlyweds. I've got some funny stories to post in the coming days. I'm back. I promise.

An open letter

2010-05-22T10:34:00.003-04:00

Dear violent people of Indianapolis,

Please just get along today. You see, I'm very tired and I'm on call. But if you must, please be nice to me. I don't like it when you swear at me as I try and stop your bleeding. It isn't nice. But maybe that's what put you in the situation you're in. Also, telling me (with a police officer over my shoulder) to let you go so you can go and "put a cap in their *&!%$" is just stupid. Thirdly, I know you weren't minding your own business so stop telling me that. I don't care how it happened. My job is just to fix you and leave the detective work for others. Either way, I'm tired so just stop fighting.

Trauma call

2010-05-13T22:41:00.003-04:00

Just to give you a glimpse into what call is like...I was on call last night at our large county hospital with dozens and dozens of physicians on call on any given night. I had a fairly busy night but I've had much worse. This morning one of my friends called the operator to get my pager number to get in touch with me and the operator didn't even hesitate to recite my pager number from memory. Maybe she has a photographic memory but either way we got a good laugh out of the misery that is our current call schedule.

The beating

2010-05-08T17:22:00.003-04:00

I recently performed a surgery that is the "holy grail" of general surgery. It is usually reserved for chief residents or fellows but I had the fortune of scrubbing in when no one else was available last week. Lest you think the patient pays the price for my inexperience please know the staff was in complete control of the surgery. He told me that he wouldn't accept anything other than perfection and I assure you that to the best of human abilities that is what the patient received.

Here are some of the quotes from the case directed at me:

I don't know how I can be any more descript with what I want you to do
Terrible
Horrible
Amateur move
Are you sure you're up for this case?
How can you not know how to do that?
You've got to think
Unbelievable
STOP DOING THAT!
What a rookie move
I don't like that. Take it out.
If you mess this tie up she is going to bleed 1 liter per minute so don't screw this up
Countless expletives
Your left hand is doing nothing to help- get it involved in the surgery

Lest you think I'm a complete hack he did comment that I have surprisingly good control of the needle for a second year resident and that overall I did a really good job. If the beating I took was with a "good job" I would hate to be there when I'm doing a bad job.

I post all this to keep a balance to all of my happy posts about my surgical training. While I have loved the majority of my residency and have had overall very positive feedback I have had moments and days that just suck. This was one of them. The good news is that starting July 1st I have a year to regroup and enjoy being a newlywed.

I knew what I was signing up for in becoming a surgeon and this is part of it. Lives are on the line and they know I have to be able to perform under pressure. I have to master my adrenaline while I have staff as a safety net before I'm on my own.

By the way the patient is doing very well.

2010-04-04T14:38:00.002-04:00

Why I love Indianapolis...

1. It has the benefits of a big city without the traffic and hassles of a big city. For instance- Friday night I went downtown to enjoy the final four hysteria and despite the thousands of people downtown it didn't take me any longer than normal to get downtown. We just don't have traffic problems. I'm not sure how but it's amazing.

2. We host some fantastic events. We have the men's final four every 5 years, the women's every 5, big ten championships, national swimming and diving championships, our first super bowl in a couple of years, and unending conferences and other tournaments.

3. I have some phenomenal friends in Indy.

4. IU medical center is where I've become a surgeon and there's something sentimental about that.

5. It's very affordable for a larger city.

6. I met my soon-to-be husband here and that will make me forever grateful for the city.

7. Maxine's chicken and waffles. Trust me. Next time you come to Indy we should eat there. It really is chicken and waffles and so much better than the name can convey.

8. I live in a neighborhood where my neighbor has done all of my yard work and snow shoveling for two years now. That is a pretty friendly city.

9. Patachou- best breakfast food in the city. I love this place. We can go there too when you come visit.

10. Indianapolis Colts- need I say more?

Career update

2010-03-11T23:39:00.004-05:00

In the midst of deciding to get married and planning a wedding I have had a major shift in career focus. It is not because I am getting married that my plans are changing but simply due to the timing of the rotations I have been on and several ways God has been hitting me over the head with the obvious.

For the past year and a half I have been pursuing transplant surgery and have been incredibly excited about the opportunities in that field. Due to my interest in transplant surgery I scheduled as many vascular surgery rotations this year as possible since they have a lot of similar surgical technique. As a result, for the past 18 weeks I have been immersed in as much vascular surgery as possible.

Little did I know how much I would enjoy vascular surgery and that it is actually an area I excel in. During my rotations as I got to know the staff and gained their trust I was doing larger and larger portions of surgeries to the point that prior to completing the 18 weeks I did as much or more than most chief residents do. The feedback I received from staff was unanimously complimentary but escalated to the point that they were discussing why I should become a vascular surgeon and all the many reasons I shouldn't go into transplant surgery nearly every day with me. At first I thought they were just being funny and then I realized how serious they were. It all culminated on the last day of my vascular surgery rotations when a staff gave me even more independence and when he saw how well I did with it he sighed and said, "There is room for you in vascular surgery. There isn't room for you in transplant. When you decide that you want to be a vascular surgeon you just let us know and we will make it happen."

I have received a lot of positive feedback throughout residency that I was progressing well and ahead of my expected level technically, but I've never had so many staff absolutely insist that I have an exceptional talent for their field. I love vascular surgery. It is insanely fun. One staff told me, "It's the most fun you'll ever have with your pants on."

Yesterday I met with one of the head vascular surgeons to talk about my future. It was an incredibly affirming meeting and has left no doubt that vascular surgery will not only be a great career but it is a dynamic field where I can practice anywhere in the world and have a great lifestyle (for a surgeon). I will complete my general surgery residency as planned with 1 year of transplant research beginning this July 1st. Seriously it is going to be the best year of my life up to this point. Wedding, honeymoon, complete flexibility with a job I will do from home... what more can I ask for?

After the research year I will have 3 more clinical years until I can become board certified as a general surgeon. From there I will do a 2 year vascular surgery fellowship. This could be at IU but likely will happen elsewhere. From there the sky is the limit. They have made it clear that I could likely have a job on staff at IU if I want to or I can go to any small or large city in the country or head overseas depending on where God leads Kerwyn and I.

While I won't be doing tummy tucks and face lifts like several relatives have hoped and I won't be putting new kidneys into patients on dialysis I will be involved in emergency life-or-death ruptured aneurysm repairs, restoring bloodflow to extremities that will otherwise become gangrenous, preventing debilitating strokes, providing access for patients who need dialysis and amputating limbs when a diseased limb is actually limiting the quality of one's life.

I am so excited about all that is to come with my surgical career.

In the meantime I'm off to Puerto Vallarta for a wonderful week with my fiance and parents. God is good!

Curling

2010-03-09T21:02:00.004-05:00

Last night (thanks to my moms recommendation) I took Kerwyn curling. It was a blast. Neither of us fell but we are both a little tired from the constant effort to stay vertical. We went from minimal understanding of the game to throwing out phrases like, "hog line" and "hurry hard" within 2 hours. I would highly recommend it as a "sport" to try. Even if I never play again I now understand how it really works. I see visions of curling with my house church, other surgery residents and anyone else crazy enough to join us in the future. Sorry for the last picture Kerwyn, but it was too hilarious to not post.

Upgrade

2010-02-22T22:02:00.005-05:00

My parents are taking Kerwyn and I to Puerto Vallarta for a week in March. We've had an amazing villa picked out with our own pool and hot tub that we've all been really excited about. It was a splurge but not exorbitant. I just found out tonight that the villa we've all been anticipating is closed for major renovations unexpectedly.

As a result we are getting the most massive upgrade in accomodations that I've ever experienced. We are going from a villa that cost a few hundred a night to one that costs $2200 per night at no extra cost to us. It is obscene. We went from having a cook and a housekeeper (which we were amazed to have) to having a chef and 4other employees working for just us. We have a cliffside villa (yes it's the entire property on the cliff in the pictures below) with an infinity pool overlooking the ocean (with a swim-up bar), a gym, 5 bedrooms with full ensuite bathrooms and individual sun terraces....

It should be an amazing week! And no, you can't come. Part of the deal is that we keep with our original party size. We'll be thinking of you while we gaze out into the ocean from our heated infinity pool.

The making of a surgeon

2010-02-20T16:36:00.002-05:00

I saw an episode of Grey's Anatomy (yes, I'm a fan and at times it is suprisingly accurate) a few weeks ago that has reminded me of a couple of the most monumental moments in my training. One of the actors was saying something to the effect of "every doctor can tell you the moment when they really became a physician".

Several weeks into my intern year I had that moment (well actually it was about a 2 hour period) that I walked away from knowing that I had become a physician. It was an experience that I'll never forget and think of often. If it wasn't for HIPAA (health information portability and accountability act) I would tell you all about it. It was crazy!

I've done a few small "solo surgeries" where staff are around and available but allow me to operate on my own. A couple of weeks ago due to extenuating circumstances I did my first larger solo surgery. The experience was incredible. (If you watch Grey's Anatomy my recent experiences have been like Cristina Yang's although on a much more realistic scale.) I walked out of the OR with a huge smile knowing that I had just become a surgeon. The experience has helped staff gain even more confidence in me and has opened up doors for greater responsibility and opportunities for me to grow as a surgeon. God is good!

Dress Shopping

2010-02-16T23:25:00.003-05:00

After feeling fairly disheartened from my David's Bridal experience a couple of weeks ago I swung to the opposite end of the spectrum and made an appointment at Kleinfeld's in New York. I was introduced to the "Say 'Yes' to the Dress" show by my mom who had been commenting on us maybe shopping there someday for a dress. Well the someday was this past Sunday. I had my eye on the designer Lazaro since I really liked some of his styles. He just happened to be having a trunk show the weekend that Kerwyn had planned a great weekend getaway and so he encouraged me to try and get an appointment and invite the girls to NYC.

It all worked out and this past Sunday I had a fantastic time shopping for a wedding dress. The end result is a dress more beautiful than I would have ever imagined, approved by Randy their fashion designer guy and Lazaro (in the picture above) himself who helped perfect parts of the dress for me (and gave me some great deals!). I said "Yes" to the dress, and even shed a few tears.

I cannot wait for July 17th!

Trauma

2010-01-22T16:32:00.001-05:00

This guy was the half-time entertainment at the game. While it was incredible to watch him I'm pretty sure I'll be taking care of him sometime when he falls off this death-trap.

Pacers vs Suns

2010-01-22T16:24:00.003-05:00

Kelley is a huge Pacers fan. Her dad has some serious connections in Indy so we had the Pacer President's tickets for the game the other night. Larry Bird's seats weren't as good as ours. Kelley is a social butterfly. She had everyone wrapped around her finger from the players and coaches to security. She gave nearly everyone on the team a high-five, mingled with the head coach who knew her somehow, and got Larry Bird's autograph. It was a fun night!

We're Engaged!

2010-01-20T20:40:00.005-05:00

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks of Kerwyn and I deciding to get married and then actually becoming engaged. It's been killing us both to keep it somewhat bottled up until it was "official" but today he proposed. While not the most extravagant proposal ever it was very "us".

Here's the somewhat brief version...

Several weeks ago we were talking about marriage and engagement and I alluded to the reality that I wasn't quite ready. Afterwards we had a couple of conversations that convinced me that I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. So a couple of weeks ago I said, "so when are we getting married?" which surprised him (subtlety has never been a strength of mine). We talked about it and actually set a date while he went about the search for the ring and proposal setting that he wanted. I knew he was planning a trip to NYC for us (only because he couldn't keep it a secret) and figured that he would propose there (he's planning a carriage ride through central park- it sure seemed obvious to me).

Today the ring came in the mail (another secret he couldn't keep) and was clearly burning a hole in his pocket. His first scenario didn't work out due to some timing issues so when we got back to his house from looking at a reception venue he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him. He said some nice things, none of which could I recall, but it was beautiful. We spent the day together finding a wedding venue, talking, and then went out to celebrate at Ruth's Chris. I was quite underdressed for such a location but I was dressed for comfort since I wasn't expecting a proposal. We made the mistake of telling them that we had just gotten engaged and so they put rose petals on our table. That wasn't the problem, but the rose petals are apparently their cue that a couple is celebrating an anniversary. Throughout our meal we had an unending stream of workers asking how many years we'd been married and congratulating us which got a little comical. They did give us complimentary champagne though.
>

We're getting married this summer in Indianapolis. We are so excited! I never would have imagined it possible to love someone this much. These next few months of preparing to be husband and wife will be a great period of growth for us. Thanks for all of your support and prayers as we ramp up for a huge life transition.

Thankful

2009-12-29T17:05:00.002-05:00

I just finished a relentless week of being on call every other day and am now rewarded with a week off. The week was full of penetrating trauma (stabbings and shootings). Not many happy outcomes and very hard emotionally, but I felt privileged to minister to the family and friends. Not a typical Christmas, but an opportunity I am thankful for.

In other news, I have a whole new appreciation for my health. I had the biggest health scare of my short life a couple of weeks ago. Everything is ok, but for a few days I faced my mortality in a way I hadn't before. Through the process I have learned the value of not making patients wait over a weekend for test results if at all humanly possible.

Enough of the heavy topics. South Bend here I come!

Primal

2009-12-20T11:47:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading Primal by Mark Batterson. The essence of this book is an exhortation to return to our first love for God: "Go back to that place where God opened your eyes and broke your heart with compassion for others. Go back to that place where the glory of God flooded your soul and left you speechless with wonder. Go back to that place where thoughts about God filled your mind with holy curiosity. Go back to that place where a God-given dream caused a rush of adrenaline that filled you with supernatural energy."

He then breaks down our love for God into the four components Jesus spoke about in Luke 10:27, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind."

Here are a few of the thoughts from each section:

Heart:

If you are in Christ and Christ is in you, you cannot be okay with suffering or injustice or starvation.

It’s much easier to act like a Christian than it is to react like one. Anyone can put on an act. But your reactions reveal what is really in your heart.

Establish an income ceiling. Most people spend more money as they make more money. Their standard of living goes up in direct proportion to their income. What if every Christ-follower gave away everything above and beyond their predetermined income ceiling?

Soul:

Awed silence in the presence of divine beauty is a form of worship that is often deeper and truer than sung words.

The Bible is not an end in itself. In other words, the goal of knowing the Bible isn’t Bible knowledge. The goal of knowing the Bible is knowing God. Anything less is bibliolatry. The truth is that most of us are already educated way beyond the level of our obedience.

Mind:

Learning isn’t a luxury; it’s a stewardship issue.

God wants to sanctify every part of your mind for His purposes: sanctified logic, sanctified intuition, sanctified imagination, even a sanctified sense of humor.

God doesn’t just want you to worship Him; He wants you to know why you worship Him.

Strength:

God loves it when we break a sweat serving His purposes.

Anything less than leveraging all our strength for God’s purposes is boring at best and hypocritical at worst.

God ideas don’t become reality without some blood,sweat, and tears. Oh yeah, and loss of sleep. But that’s the true test of love, isn’t it? If you love someone or something enough, the expenditure of energy isn’t seen as a chore. It’s a privilege. It’s not something you have to do, it’s something you get to do. Love turns work into worship.

Here are a few other quotes:

Which do you love more: your dream or God? Do you love God for what He can do for you? Or do you love Him for who He is? In its purest, most primal form, loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is loving God for God. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.

The impact God has planned for us doesn’t occur when we’re pursuing impact. It occurs when we’re pursuing God. -Phil Vischer, creator of VeggieTales.

How much happier you would be, how much more of you there would be, if the hammer of a higher God could smash your small cosmos. -G.K. Chesterton

Let God be as original with other people as He is with you. -Oswald Chambers

Check this book out!

Professionalism

2009-12-16T20:47:00.002-05:00

When I decided to become a surgeon I knew I would have to work with some doctors that were more difficult to work with. I have been fairly fortunate to this point to be sheltered from some of the uglier sides of these individuals. I guess I've graduated to the uncensored side of surgery.

In the past week I have witnessed the 3 most horrific displays of a lack of professionalism among doctors that I've ever seen. All 3 were in the operating room and 2 of the 3 happened during the same 30 minute surgery by both the anesthesiologist and surgeon...with a 3rd year medical student observing it all (and nearly getting hit by a flying instrument). I'm still not quite sure what to do in these situations. My MO so far has been to just ignore it and keep working (and laugh about it endlessly afterwards with other residents). All three were basically huge temper tantrums by doctors. They all ended up looking like adult children with serious issues. Any suggestions on what to do when my staff doctor is screaming, throwing instruments, kicking people out of the OR...? The good news is that I have never been the cause or focus of the anger. Either way it is an incredibly awkward situation.

Giants

2009-12-07T23:30:00.002-05:00

Everyone needs to check out the blog post, "The Wet Wipe Warmer Incident" by Rob Wegner, the Pastor of Life Mission, at Granger Community Church. Rob and his wife Michelle have had a profound impact on my life. They were the leaders of the youth ministry when I was in 7th grade and wondering what Christianity was all about. They were there when I gave my life to Christ, felt God's call to the mission field, went on my first mission trip, and countless other milestones in my life. Needless to say I love them, have tremendous respect for them, and can't wait for the day when I can be more involved in the incredible work God is doing through GCC in India alongside them.

Please read the post by Rob. It has been banging around in my head for days as I remember the battle I'm meant to be in and how easy it is to get distracted. Thanks Rob!

Colts Game

2009-12-07T23:16:00.004-05:00

I took Tara to the Colts vs Titans game for her birthday. It was kind of selfish really since I wanted to see them play, but it worked out well for both of us. The warmup time before the game was actually more fun than the game since we could stand in the first row and really see the players getting ready for action. My foam colthead did not disappoint (thanks Kerwyn!). Tara's blueberry face was great as well- it was supposed to be blue on one side and white on the other but go figure white facepaint doesn't work well on a white person. So instead she resembles Violet from Willy Wonka.
The only bad part of the day (but also very comical) was the lady behind us who was hacking up a lung through the whole game as she shouted, "Be there" with every Peyton Manning throw.
I'm even more of a diehard Colts fan after the game. Superbowl here we come (preferably vs. the Vikings just to rub it in with the family).

Surfing?!?

2009-11-02T21:52:00.003-05:00

Heather and I had a 2nd attempt at surfing. Here is some of the video evidence. Enjoy!

Surfing Divas

2009-10-29T00:05:00.004-04:00

Heather and I are having a great week in sunny San Diego. I could live here. We went surfing for the first time ever a few days ago. The surfshop that we decided to not rent equipment through was called, "Surf Divas" as that name seemed ridiculous to both of us. Instead we rented surfboards and wetsuits from some random place by the coast in La Jolla. I think my body has finally recovered from that beating. It was a blast. By the end of the two hours we were able to stand up on some decent waves (3-4 feet). I think I disrupted the peace of others as everytime I successfully stood for any length I threw my arms in the air and shouted "booyah" or some similar term of euphoria. This picture is us after dragging ourselves and our boards back to the shop.

I think we'll go back in a couple of days. While we are there they have a mile-long open water swim course in the ocean that we'll give a go (or at least part of it). Unfortunately Heather is the stronger swimmer so if one of us goes down by a shark or stingray it will probably be me.

Vacation!!!

2009-10-23T17:57:00.002-04:00

I am heading to San Diego in the morning with Heather, my college roommate. I am so excited for the trip. I am excited to spend time catching up with Heather, roadbiking, learning to surf, sleeping, sitting by the pool, walking along the beach.... All in all it should be a great week.

It has been 7 months since I've had more than a 3-day weekend. I operated today with the self-proclaimed Bobby Knight of our residency. And I survived with at least a shred of dignity intact.

Looking back on this long stretch I think the thing I am most thankful for are the relationships I am developing in the hospital with other staff members. I'm not a name person, but I have really made an effort to learn the names of the people I work with. It's tough because I work at 5 hospitals and on several floors of each hospital. It is worth the effort as I truly am developing friendships with lots of nurses, secretaries, cafeteria cashiers, care coordinators, scrub nurses, nurse aides, housekeepers.... It makes long hours at the hospital much more enjoyable and meaningful.

While I look forward to reconnecting with some of the staff at Methodist when I return, I am not going to wish away a moment of this week of vacation. It couldn't have come at a better time. I can't wait to get away with Heather. I guarantee that pictures and fun stories are to come!

Target practice

2009-10-14T22:04:00.002-04:00

I'm loving my thoracic surgery rotation. I'm not sure if it is simply that I enjoy big surgeries or what but I know I am an adrenaline junkie in the OR. Here is my sketch of the area I was sewing in the other day (forgive the rudimentary sketch- it's hard to translate 3D to microsoft paintbrush).

It is so fun to not be the intern anymore. I actually get to operate a lot and am quickly improving my ability to sew in holes with important structures all around me.

As I was sewing a bronchus shut in the OR I chuckled to myself realizing these 3 structures were all within a centimeter or two from my needle and scalpel. I LOVED IT! Oh... and the patient is doing well.

Upcoming concerts

2009-10-06T21:40:00.002-04:00

I am really excited for a couple of concerts I am going to see in November- Chris Botti and Joshua Bell. Both are graduates of the IU School of Music. Chris Botti is an unbelievable trumpeter and Joshua Bell a violinist. Here are a couple of samples of their performances. I can't wait!

Joshua Bell plays a 4 million dollar Stradivarius violin (pretty similar to the violin I possess). Gene Weingarten won the Pulitzer Prize for an experiment and resulting article in which Joshua Bell performed in the DC commuter station dressed in street clothes. It was a fascinating social experiment that you can read here: Pulitzer

The value of flu shots

2009-10-01T21:40:00.003-04:00

Last week I received what I intend to be my last flu shot. Everytime I have received one I get sick afterwards and this is no exception. It has been the gift that keeps on giving for the past week. I know it may help prevent me from transmitting it to patients but what about the illness I have had for the past week that I've been walking around the ICU with? Sure I could stay home in theory but that isn't how a surgical residency works. The thought that maybe I have swine flu has certainly occured to me. And that brings me to my next topic.

Seriously I think someone is going to have to put me in 4 point restraints if they want to vaccinate me from the swine flu. Swine flu isn't a joke, but neither is getting injected with random stuff that's never been tested on people. I need to do more research to give a truly educated opinion but from what I have read I'm not going to be fighting people to get to the front of the line for this one. As it gets closer to the release I'll keep you posted once I've done some further reading.

Happy Birthday!

2009-10-01T21:23:00.004-04:00

Today is the birthday of 3 people whom I love dearly. In order from oldest to youngest:

Tara Mix- an incredible friend that I am so thankful to have in my life. She loves people better than just about anyone I know. We have had some ridiculously hilarious times together...the kind you pee your pants while having. Well at least I do. To celebrate her big day we are going to attend a Colts game together where we will cheer at obnoxious decibels. I can't wait!

Heather Carlson- my college roomie. Oh the memories we have shared! She is making her mark on the world as a PA at MD Anderson in Houston, TX. I couldn't be more proud of her. Well I could but it would require her relocating to Indianapolis and that hasn't happened yet. To mark her birthday we are going to participate in a yet undisclosed activity while in San Diego,CA where we will be vacationing together in a few short weeks. I'm counting down the days until we get to meet up in sunny California!

Mbali- she is my sponsor child in Swaziland. I choose Swaziland since it is the country with the world's highest percentage of individuals infected with HIV. She is growing into a beautiful young woman. I hope I get to meet her someday. World Vision is doing a little something extra for her and her family for her special day.

And this begins the birthday season for me- from Oct 1 through the end of the year when most of the birthdays of my family and friends occur. Let the parties begin!

Fantasy Football

2009-09-08T16:09:00.002-04:00

I just finished my first experience with the fantasy draft. I have no idea how my team will do, but I am optimistic. It should make the NFL season more enjoyable!
Here's my roster:
Starters:
Kurt Warner
Michael Turner
Derrick Ward
Jamal Lewis
Reggie Wayne
TJ Houshmanz...
Owen Daniels
Giant Defense
Nate Kaeding

Bench:
Kyle Orton
Steve Breaston
Donald Brown
Patriots defense
John Carlson
Kevin Curtis
Chris Chambers

If I enjoy this random espn league next year I'll start my own. This will be a good trial run to see how it all works. 5 days until kickoff!

The Most Expensive Triathlon

2009-09-02T21:39:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I participated in my first Sprint distance triathlon. Previously I had only done Olympic distance (roughly twice the length of the sprint distance). I was excited to be more competitive as my focus wouldn't be solely on finishing the race. I was incredibly pleased with how I did and have this great trophy to show for my 3rd place finish in my age group (out of 38). I was only a minute from winning my age group which gives me great motivation for next year. My times (for the 2 of you who care) were:
500m swim- 12:27 (definitely room for improvement)
20K bike- 42:42 (17.5 mph avg)
5K run- 29:52 (9:30 miles- nothing to brag about!)
transitions- 4:30 (wow I need to speed up!)

Triathlons aren't cheap events- it was $65 or so, but let me tell you about the race that keeps on giving.

Immediately after the race I had an extremely sharp pain in my right foot. It seemed odd as I have never had pain in my foot before. I hobbled around for a couple of days with lots of ice and then noticed that it was getting better. Unfortunately as a resident I have these long 30 hour shifts on my feet and everytime I was on call or had a long day in the OR my foot would hurt. So Monday a surgery got cancelled and I squeezed an appt in with an orthopedic surgeon. 2 hours later I left with a $40 copay for the appt, likely $150 worth of xrays, $180 for the walking boot and $60 for the shoe implant to treat the stress fractures of my 3rd and 4th metatarsals. My insurance is new and no copays have been met so this triathlon just got very expensive. But when I feel down I just stare at my shiny trophy (on my mantle)and know it was worth it. Not really, but being active is more cost-effective than not even if it means an occasional injury.
So if you are in Methodist hospital I'm the resident walking around in my aircast.

Oh and I will be competing in more triathlons next year!

Struggles

2009-08-18T13:13:00.003-04:00

A little over a week ago I ended what I can only hope was the worst rotation I will ever have in my residency. For many reasons I won't go into any details but it was horrible. Part of the way through the rotation when I realized how badly I was struggling I picked up (in addition to my Bible) my copy of "The Barbarian Way" by Erwin McManus. This is one of my all-time favorite books. Here are a couple of the quotes that really challenged and encouraged me:

When you understand what Jesus means when He says that you must follow Him, you finally realize that this is not a cattle call. He is not calling you to the same life that everyone else will live. He's not even calling you to the same path that every follower of Christ will walk. Your life is unique before God, and your path is yours and yours alone. Where God will choose to lead you and how God chooses to use your life cannot be predicted by how God has worked in the lives of others before you.

...the closer you walk with Christ, the greater the faith required. The more you trust Him, the more you'll risk on His behalf. The more you love Him, the more you will love others. If you genuinely embrace His sacrifice, you will joyfully embrace a sacrificial life.

The first quote really encouraged me as I kept comparing my life and all that I disliked about my circumstances to those around me who seemed to have it all together and were enjoying their summer more than I was. The second quote challenged me as I sensed myself wanting to lash out at people all around me for the frustrations I was experiencing. I was reminded that the way I treat others is a direct reflection on my love for God and my ability to joyfully embrace a life of sacrifice is directly correlated with my ability to embrace His sacrifice for me. Ouch...

Wedding Festivities

2009-08-04T22:48:00.004-04:00

This is a random picture taken of me prior to performing in the wedding of Osi and Enola last week. I thought I would be really nervous but all of my adrenaline was used up during the day with new trauma patients.

The ceremony was beautiful and it was an amazing night of celebrating. Osi is from Nigeria and his family came dressed in their best. I loved the energy they brought to the whole event. I am so thankful to have Osi and Enola in my life and look forward to many years of sharing life together!

Fiddling

2009-07-29T23:33:00.002-04:00

Thursday night is the wedding of two of my good friends, Osi and Enola. They asked me to play my violin in their wedding. Initially I dreaded pulling out my violin as it took forever just to tune it since I hadn't touched it in so long (6+ years). Recently it has been much more enjoyable to rehearse and has made me reminisce on the good old days playing the violin. The rehearsal went well tonight and makes me want to get a better violin and play more frequently. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your perspective) I am committed to this surgery gig and it doesn't allow for many hobbies.

Anyways, it should be a great night. Osi is from Nigeria and some of his siblings still live there so the ceremony and reception will be infused with some great Nigerian cultural elements. This song is part of that. They have a semi-choreographed dance to this song with Enola (who is definitely not Nigerian) wearing traditional Nigerian attire. We get to all participate at one point in the song. It is going to be a great night!

2009-07-25T17:47:00.002-04:00

I saw this on Amber Cox's blog and had to share it with everyone. What a celebration! Maybe my wedding will start like this someday.

VIP

2009-07-12T01:43:00.003-04:00

I just got back from King's Island- an amusement park in the Cincinnati area. It was a fun day overall, but I've got to share the highlight with you. My friend Enola and I decided to wait in the long line for their new ride called the Diamondback. After waiting for an hour or so we decided to wait a few extra minutes to sit in the front row. After we got in the special line they escorted two men our age into line behind us. I had heard someone shout "Hey Jeremy" while we were approaching the front of the line and realized that it was Jeremy Camp (a well-known Christian artist) who was standing next to us in line. I turned around and simply asked him, "Are you Jeremy Camp?" to which he replied with a smile "I am." We then introduced ourselves and had a very pleasant conversation. Enola and I didn't know it but he was to perform later in the evening at the park and so he got to ride a couple of their big rides. The sequence of events that placed him in line right behind us was crazy! It was our first ride of the day, we waited over an hour, he just happened to walk up at that moment, they let us wait to ride in the front row (which they didn't let our friends do later in the day).... The whole experience was fantastic- waiting in line with Jeremy Camp, riding on the front row of their new AMAZING ride...and getting to share it with a great friend.

This all got me thinking...I sure have had more than my fair share of interactions with famous people in the last few years-especially for someone who lives in Indiana. Here are the ones I can think of off the top of my head:

Riding on a plane with the Newsboys
Riding on a plane with Ron Luce (founder of Teen Mania Ministries)
Meeting Norah Jones
Running into Jim Caviezel at GCC
Shaking hands with George W Bush (while he was President)
Shaking hands with Bill and Hillary Clinton (Hillary on 2 different occasions)- I don't care what you think of them it was still incredible to meet a former POTUS
Meeting Natasha Bedingfield
Randomly walking by Michael W Smith while on a hike in Nashville
Talking with Jeremy Camp while in line for a rollercoaster
Meeting countless leaders in the world of surgery. A couple of surgeons that you might actually be interested in include the neurosurgeon who removed all of Lance Armstrong's brain metastases and one of the surgeons who performed Charlie Weis's gastric bypass surgery/disaster.
It doesn't count but I almost got to meet Barack Obama. The secret service people were searching us when they bailed out during his campaign.

While I don't place these individuals on pedestals it is fun to interact with them and gain a better appreciation for them as people.

Intern year in a nutshell

2009-07-09T22:57:00.003-04:00

Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

What I'm Up To

2009-07-06T23:02:00.003-04:00

Here are a few of the things that have been occupying my time...

1) Who knew that a day made such a difference in my responsibility level. I have some weird precedent of crazy 1st days. My first hour as an intern was spent intubating someone emergently with an unstable cervical spine and my first morning as a 2nd year resident was spent in the OR doing two emergency laparotomies (belly surgeries). The second patient was coding (ie. chest compressions, massive hemorrhaging while we were trying to control the bleeding). He only required about 27 units of blood. My favorite green shoes were ruined (I know I shouldn't have been wearing them in trauma surgery but who knew that as a second year resident I would be exposed to so much bleeding. Plus I put booties on for traumas except when you have to sprint into the OR with no warning because your patient is coding.) Anyways, it's all in a day's work I guess. Except that it was a very long first day because I was on call and I had to wear super bloody shoes all night. One set of observant and horrified parents asked me before I took their daughter to the OR that night "Is that blood all over your shoes?". Oh what I would have done for a pair of crocs.

2) Celebrating! Us second year residents have been partying in a big way. We went out the night we were done being interns and again on the 4th. I learned Texas Hold 'Em. For a while I was doing really well. It was fun and then I lost it all (all $5). Alas I went and joined the girls for some serious rock band.

3)Wedding preparation. No not mine silly. Somehow I got roped/privileged into performing my violin at the wedding of two of my close friends in a few weeks. I'm not sure if perform is the proper terminology. Let's just say I hadn't touched my fiddle in 5 years and when I tried to tune it my bridge flew off. And I'm performing 15 minutes of prelude, while they walk down the aisle, while they take communion and while they have their recessional. No pressure. I might ruin their wedding or in the least make a total fool of myself. I would tell you where and when so you could come and heckle but some creepy internet stalker might show up and that would be bad.

4) Long walks. I love taking walks and I have had a lot on my mind besides the above-mentioned topics. It has been incredible to just walk and enjoy the silence and think and listen. I think I hear more clearly from God while out in nature just walking and being silent than at any other time. It's not a magic formula but give it a try some time. I can't get enough time outside just listening. And the cool thing is that God is speaking and He is up to some pretty incredible things that I am thrilled to be a part of. More to come on this I promise!

ps. my camera is broken, but soon enough I shall have a new one and flood you with pictures!

Bye Bye Internship

2009-06-30T23:33:00.003-04:00

I don't have much time since I've been out celebrating with my fellow ex-interns, but our first year is over. I'm no longer an intern!!! I was nearly skipping into the hospital this morning out of enthusaism to be moving on to the next phase of my training. I am on call July 1st for trauma and my responsibility is going through the roof. People are telling me I'm ready although I am fairly nervous. I am also very excited as I have been wanting more responsibility for the past 6 months or so.

I'll try and sit down and really reflect on intern year sometime soon, but let's just say I am thrilled with how the year went. I could count on one (or two) hands the number of times I have seriously angered an attending and no patient has ever been harmed by a decision I have made or a technical error in the operating room. I have gotten incredibly positive feedback from staff and upper-level residents and really couldn't be much happier.

I never once went over the 80-hour work week rules and feel like I am beginning to understand how to balance my professional and personal lives.

Onwards and upwards! Tomorrow at this time I might be a puddle in the emergency department up to my eyeballs in traumas and consults. I'll keep you posted on how my new role shapes up.

Thank you for all of the encouragement over the past year! I couldn't have survived without the support of family and friends.

Bunnies

2009-06-10T20:33:00.003-04:00

Does anyone know how to keep cute little rabbits from eating the nice plants I have laboriously planted in my yard (with my parents help). I thought of rabbit poison but then I would have to deal with rabbit carcasses and that is suboptimal. I could hunt rabbits in the morning before going to the hospital (I do have good aim according to the man at Don's guns), but I would be left with the same rabbit bodies and blood in my yard. Plus I'm sure the neighborhood association would not tolerate gunfire at 3am for very long. Surely there is a repellant of sorts that would deter them without fatally poisoning them. Any suggestions?

In other news... the little "kiddos" (as every person in the hospital outside of surgeons apparently refer to them) at the hospital have now given me a sore throat. It's a good thing those punks are cute or I might be annoyed with them. I don't know how teachers put up with this. I guess the immune system adapts.

I'm sick

2009-06-02T19:18:00.003-04:00

So my insides are completely rejecting me right now. It only took the kids on my pediatric surgery rotation one week to get me sick. Actually I have a full differential for why I am sick:

1. Sleep deprivation- I could go on all day about the way my lack of sleep has affected my life. In fact I'm missing time with friends right now because I know I can't safely drive to the other side of Indy. I fell asleep while driving to the dentist (3 miles away) a couple of weeks ago. Don't worry that won't happen again.

2. High caffeine-containing beverage to water ratio. I think that this has amplified my dehydration at the least

3. Pediatrics- kids have a way of spreading germs and I am in contact with them every day. The only time all year that I have been sick until now was when I ate too much fried food at the fair and vomitted my brains out (seriously). Coincidence? I think not.

4. My body completely rejecting intern year. Seriously. 4 weeks!

5. Bad food. I think this should be higher on my list especially since I have eaten more hospital food recently out of desperation.

6. Residual parasites from my fateful trip to India 10 years ago. I doubt it.

Regardless of the cause I hope to bounce back quickly since I'm on call again tomorrow and would rather not have to trade calls.

I'm a convert

2009-05-26T21:14:00.005-04:00

I never used to appreciate country music but the newer pop country is growing on me. Lady Antebellum is becoming one of my favorite groups to listen to. Here are a couple of their best songs (in my opinion of course). Enjoy!

Risks

2009-05-24T15:40:00.003-04:00

I'm praying a lot about taking a really big risk. I've been reading over some of my old journals and found a few relevant quotes:

Generally speaking, you are probably never going to be more than 80% certain. Waiting for greater certainty may cause you to miss an opportunity. - Andy Stanley

I think our greatest regrets will be the God-ordained risks we didn't take. We won't regret sinking. We will regret sitting. - Mark Batterson

Hell begins the day God grants you the vision to see all that you could have done, should have done, and would have done, but did not do. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is madness to wear ladies' straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews. For the sleeping god may wake some day and take offense, or the waking god may draw us out to where we can never return. - Annie Dillard

Not that I'm counting

2009-05-18T22:05:00.001-04:00

I'm over being an intern. It's been a great year of learning and all sorts of opportunities and experiences that I wouldn't have imagined having, but I'm ready for more. 43 days...

In the meantime Indy 500 here I come!

Teeth

2009-05-12T18:11:00.002-04:00

Dear psycho dental hygenist,

I'm not sure where you trained or why you have chosen to be a gum butcher but I have a few thoughts:

1. Smile and attempt some amount of polite conversation
2. Stop stabbing my gums
3. When I am hesitating to let go of the suction it's not because I don't understand the concept, it is because I want a break from your attacks
4. When I ask you to stop because you are hurting me it's not a joke
5. When I chuckle and smirk after you make a rude comment to me that is not your cue to be more violent
6. Focus on professionalism. I'm not quite sure what I did to anger you but your nasty tone and blatant rudeness were unnecessary.
7. Goodbye. I'm finding a new dentist.

The hospital is empty

2009-05-03T14:09:00.008-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that my blogging frequency is abysmal. This is mostly due to the fact that I am on a string of tough rotations and my life is fairly out of control. I assure you that by the time you finish this blog you won't think I have taken to guns to vent my aggression towards the world. Here are some updates:

The hospital is eerily empty as Clarian (the bureaucracy that owns several hospitals I work in) has closed its doors to all visitors except spouses/parents and chaplains because of the swine flu. It speeds rounds up as there are fewer people asking questions, but the waiting rooms sure are quiet.

I'm not sure what to make of the swine flu. 35,000 people typically die from influenza every year and 20 people have died from H1N1 so far. Diverting planes when someone has "flu-like"symptoms and canceling schools/events seems a bit drastic, but if we're going to go to these extremes it seems like we should have more standardization.

I think I'm going to Boston. That's right. After next year I am calling a "time-out" and taking 1 or 2 (likely 2) years "off". I'm hoping to get a Masters in Public Health degree from Harvard. Backup options include Hopkins (don't tell them that they are a back-up), Univ of Minnesota or IU. Concurrently I plan on participating in some meaningful transplant research through IU. The plans are all still in the making, but I am getting excited about the possibility. If all goes my way I'll be in Boston for 8-9 months to get the degree. Why Boston? For starters, it's a fantastic city. Two great friends will also be in the Boston area adding to the appeal. Harvard's program is specifically designed for individuals with a doctorate degree and so the whole program is accelerated which is nice. Most importantly though, Harvard is the place to get an MPH especially if I want an international concentration (which I do). The contacts and experiences I would have would help me be in a position to do anything from head up the CDC, be the Surgeon General, or start a transplant program in a developing country (which is ironically enough exactly what I dream of doing). This is all contigent on God as I am highly inadequate on my own, but we serve a big God who is capable of much more than I could ever ask or imagine.

I am on a softball team made up of surgery residents. We're called the Big Whacks. Of course we are competitive. Our record is 1-1. The ortho team beat us in extra innings which was unfortunate. We're having a great time though and I am getting to see a lot of residents in a whole new light.

This is an awkard transition, but I am a pretty impressive marksman. Tara and I went to Don's Guns yesterday ( a very "classy" establishment in Indy known for letting you rent and shoot their guns-you can even rent an uzi). We had a fun time learning to load and shoot a gun. Doesn't it look like I'm in the middle of a heist in the next picture? That employee in the background sure must have regretted teaching me to use a gun. My man is covered with holes in the chest and head and other potentially fatal areas (the spleen, aorta and other major vasculature...)- my anatomy knowledge has to pay off sometime. The employee said after inspecting my target, "You've got a helluva shot for someone who's never touched a gun". So watch out. I might start packing heat if this swine flu gets out of hand.

Happy Easter

2009-04-11T23:41:00.003-04:00

I took this picture at the Garden Tomb in Jerusalem- this is the tomb representative of where Jesus was buried and from which he rose. No one knows if this is the actual tomb, but I love this sign that is on the door to the tomb.

Have a great day celebrating. We have much to be thankful for!

Wait

2009-04-07T21:46:00.003-04:00

I read this poem from my cousin Stacy's blog and wanted to share it with everyone.

If you read her blog it is the incredible story of a God who loves us and who is working in our lives in ways much more amazing than we could have ever asked or imagined.

I hope this poem encourages you!

Stacy if you read this thank you for your vulnerability and incredible perspective on all that you and Ryan have experienced in the past several years. Myself and countless others are blessed by your transparency. I can't wait to see your children!

Transplant

2009-04-05T14:29:00.002-04:00

Well the word is out. I'm planning to specialize in transplant surgery. I've met with some of the transplant surgeons who seem very enthusiastic about training me over the next 7 or 8 (yes, that's not a typo) years and I'm meeting with the transplant chairman soon to plan for the coming years. I'm ridiculously excited about it and therefore I'm sure those I've spoken with recently have heard entirely too much about it. I never would have seen this one coming. Of all the specialties I have pondered this one never made the list. The lifestyle can be insane, although I've learned that it doesn't have to be. The lifestyle has kept me from deciding sooner and if anything causes me to change my mind down the road it would be the potentially long and irregular hours.
Here are the reasons I'm taking the leap:

Transplant truly changes and saves lives. We snatch people within days of dying from liver failure and give them a new chance at life. We free individuals from 3 days per week of hemodialysis. Diabetics are done with insulin injections and saved from any further devastating effects of diabetes.
I like maximally invasive surgery and that is precisely what transplant surgery is- the only time we do laparascopic surgery is to take kidneys out of donors. In general I don't really enjoy working through tiny holes- I like having blood and bowels in my hands to feel most effective.
The surgeries are incredible- I will train to transplant the liver, kidney, pancreas, small intestine and what is called a multivisceral transplant where you transplant several organs at once- often a liver, small intestine, stomach and possibly pancreas and kidney. In the multivisceral transplant you basically take all the organs out and have an empty abdomen and then put the new ones in.
The procurement (going to get the organs from the donor) is amazing as well.
I will do transplants in people of all ages: infants through the elderly which provides a nice variety and different technical challenges.
The future of transplant is intellectually stimluating! Xenotransplantation- basically taking organs out of pigs and other animals and placing them in humans. I will work in the lab of one of the premier transplant surgeons in the country. Many believe that he will likely be the first to figure out how to prepare the immune system to successfully do this. Can anyone say Nobel Prize?
This may sound crazy but I like the setup of the transplant system, at least here at IU. I get along phenomenally well with the transplant pharmacists, NPs, nurses, case managers and other team members. In general surgery the patients are scattered all over with dozens of nurses and support staff taking care of them but with the transplant patients they are all huddled in one unit with the same pharmacists, nurses, secretaries, care coordinators... and it builds a comraderie that I love. I'm even trying to coordinate a flag football game with all the transplant nurses.

I am full of about as many questions as you might be. I have no idea what my life will look like. What I do know is that I am in a position to not only be on the cutting edge of transplant surgery in the US but to help developing countries begin transplant programs. This leads not only to higher qualities of living but is also much more cost-effective than a lifetime of dialysis or other medical support.

I keep thinking of Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire who said, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." God has made me to glorify Him and I truly believe that one big vehicle for me to do that is through transplant surgery.

Palm Sunday

2009-04-05T12:06:00.009-04:00

Palm Sunday is usually a holiday that gets overshadowed by Easter for me. This year, having been to Jerusalem last year, the day has much greater significance. These pictures are from mom and I walking the "Palm Sunday Road" where Jesus triumphantly entered into Jerusalem- with the view he had from the Mount of Olives leading into Jerusalem. Sorry they are microscopic- I'm going through a computer transition and they are all I could do from snapfish.

As he rode in majestically I love what he said when the Pharisees tried to silence the crowds, "If they kept quiet, the stones along the road would burst into cheers!" The work of God cannot be stopped.

Jesus entered Jerusalem knowing what would take place. As He approached Jerusalem he said, "I wish that even today you would find the way of peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from you. Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you. They will crush you to the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you have rejected the opportunity God offered you."

Jesus' words came to fruition shortly thereafter when the temple was destroyed in 70AD. Today the Western Wall, which is part of the western retaining wall of the temple mount, is the only remnant of the Temple from the days of Christ. The Foundation Stone, which is where the Dome of the Rock (one of the holiest sites for Muslims) stands now, is also believed by many to be the spot of the Holy of holies from the Temple. Hence the tension between the Muslims and Jews for access to this site.

Here are Mark Beeson's (senior pastor at Granger Community Church) words on this day:

"On the day Christians celebrate the Prince of Peace riding into Jerusalem, North Korea does a product demonstration for potential buyers of nuclear weapon delivery systems - with free advertising from the American Press. This week, the cover of Newsweek magazine proclaims - in the bold shape of a cross - "The Decline and Fall of Christian America."
The world is watching. I can't help but wonder what the people of the world see.
The One riding into Jerusalem was hailed as king, but who guessed by week's end He would rise from the grave?
But will the world see Jesus this week?Will the world see Love, Forgiveness and Hope?
Or will the world see no better way than the path of hate, fear and decline?
The world is watching. What does your life proclaim?
If others do what you do this week, what will the world see?If others say what you say this week, what will the world hear?If others emulate your manner, what message will be communicated? Hope or despair? Courage or fear? Confidence or discouragement?
What will your life proclaim during Holy Week?
You get to decide."
John 12:12-13 - On the next day the large crowd who had come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, took the branches of the palm trees and went out to meet Him, and began to shout, "Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord , even the King of Israel."

My heart

2009-03-28T18:53:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update for those of you who are aware that I've had some "issues" with my heart and who know that there have been some recent problems as a result. Basically I've had an occasional abnormal heart rhythm and exceptionally fast rate that is usually associated with exercise but occasionally it happens randomly.

I had what I thought was an exhaustive workup at the beginning of medical school, but this year I was denied disability insurance because there hasn't been a diagnosis attached to my symptoms. Now I know some people aren't supporters of insurance, but I am (especially given my tendency to injure myself and enjoyment for more high-risk activities) and will save that dialogue for another day. I have had some recent concerning symptoms and went to see a cardiac electrophysiologist here in Indy for what I thought would be simply the beginning of annual EKGs and routine follow-up.

He is a leader in the field, covered with my insurance plan and so I thought the man I picked was a great selection. During my first appointment he went crazy on the fact that I need a diagnosis and came up with these over-the-top tests we could do. He threw out words like pheochromocytoma, electrophysiology lab, implantable cardiac monitor... all of which seemed a little aggressive.

Needless to say I was taken aback and resistant to this. We reached a compromise and so far I have had another echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) and all sorts of external monitoring. I just got a new device yesterday that will monitor my heart at all times externally and I am off my heart medication to try and unmask the "events".

We'll see what happens, but I think we've decided that if this comes back ok we will be done and he will give me the diagnosis "benign inappropriate sinus tachycardia" and hopefully I can get disability insurance and rest assured once again that my heart is ok.

Shoulda woulda coulda

2009-03-25T20:33:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to pick a new computer unless I am able to resuscitate mine in the next few days with the help of tech-savvy friends (hence the sparse blogs...plus my life is thoroughly out of control). Any suggestions? I'm leaning away from a mac since I will be doing research and using programs regularly that aren't mac-compatible. I've gone with Dell before, but am open to Sony or another brand.

Mexico

2009-03-23T21:00:00.004-04:00

I don't have the time or energy to load any pictures (not that I took many) but here are a few highlights of Puerto Vallarta:

sleep- I slept 11-12 hours every night for a week. It was ridiculous but oh so wonderful
the sun- I hadn't seen the light of day in a long time and it was great to bask in it
hanging out with my parents- it was great to spend a week with them catching up and laughing
crazy tour guide man who thought I was 12 or something. he was talking to me in an incredibly condescending juvenile way. he asked if I saw santa claus when we celebrated Christmas in Mexico a few years ago. he pointed out pineapples under a tree like I didn't know what a pineapple was. My mom, continuing in the fun, pointed out bananas and other items to try and bring me to a 5th grade vocabulary.
eating on the beach. it is one of my favorite things to do and we biked to a restaurant on the beach for lunch a couple of days.
watching the bachelor with my parents. my dad actually sat through the whole finale and after the final rose drama. good times...
reading for fun. it was so great to read a couple of novels for the pure pleasure of it.
the spa- hot tub, steam room, sauna, rain shower... so much so that I went twice a day on a couple of occasions.
the food. i ate enough chips and salsa to last a year.
getting a tan. i know it is superficial but it feels good to have some color to my skin and blonder hair.

Thanks mom and dad for a great week!

Fire

2009-03-12T23:26:00.003-04:00

I saw the largest fire today that I have ever seen. In fact it is the largest fire in downtown Indy in 20 years. I love a good spectacle, especially when no one gets hurt (maybe I should have worked to be a news reporter). Being able to witness this fire was one of the few benefits of driving to the hospital at 4:45 am. I saw the smoke from my house, and the flames from the interstate. It was insane! Because of my ridiculous work hours I wasn't stuck in the traffic jams that were apparently horrible as rush hour ensued.

It is a devastating blow for the builders and those with homes or businesses nearby. The miracle is that not a single person was injured.

If you want to see pictures go to wishtv.com.

Black Clouds

2009-02-27T16:00:00.003-05:00

There is a joke around the hospital that I am a black cloud. Basically I have been on call a ton in the past few weeks (6 nights in 2 weeks) and every one of those nights has been full of disasters. The chief residents (who take call from home) have picked up on it and seem less excited to have me on call with them as they will inevitably have to come in and take a patient to the OR with me.

Let me preserve my dignity by saying I didn't in any way cause these problems but they all arose while I was the only "surgeon" in the hospital (someday I will be able to call myself a surgeon without using quotes). Several of the patients were transferred in from smaller hospitals in the middle of the night and were incredibly sick. Another several presented to our emergency department and a few were already in the hospital being treated by other services.

The common thread is that they all (yes, every last one) required emergency surgery. That is exceedingly uncommon. We usually get consults for all sorts of non-operative issues, and a few that need surgery. Last night was my last night on call for a while. A patient we have been taking care of for a long time started hemorrhaging rapidly from somewhere in the intestines. I was transfusing the patient as fast as the blood bank could send blood up and he managed to pull through the night. I explained to the family how grim the prognosis is in an effort to get them to reassess how far they want us to go in what seems like futile care. In the end, the decision is theirs, but I feel a moral obligation to be clear about how serious a situation is so they can make educated decisions.

The good news is that most of the patients have done very well and I have gained all sorts of experience in resuscitating patients, counseling families and quickly delegating and getting things done. I seem to have earned the respect of the staff surgeons which is always a good thing. The bad news is that I am exhausted. I have been basically pulling an all-nighter every other night for 2 weeks without a single day off in several weeks.

The even better news is that this will quickly be remedied as I fly to Puerto Vallarta in the morning for a week of bliss. My pager is being left behind, my phone is off, I won't be checking email. I will be all there...resting...having fun.... Adios!

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-02-24T22:28:00.003-05:00

I saw this movie tonight with a couple of friends and was completely blown away! It resonated deeply with my burden for the millions in India and around the world who are victims of horrific crimes. I understand why this movie won Best Picture. I pray that this platform not only helps spread the word for the horrors happening still today around the world but invokes real change.

FYI- if you are interested in learning more check out: International Justice Mission. This is an organization strategically speaking up and defending the rights of those whose voice is not heard. Another organization getting things done is Emmanuel Hospital Association in India- the organization I worked alongside for a summer at Landour Community Hospital.

How To Save a Life

2009-02-14T13:57:00.004-05:00

I had the incredible privilege this week of being involved in saving a life. I'm sure that happens regularly, but it is usually not as obvious. It is likely the most significant moment of my intern year so far. Here's the short version...

At 5pm our team was paged to come see a patient of ours who had had surgery several days prior. Acutely his blood pressure was very low and he felt light headed (there's more to it but I'm trying to keep this brief). I quickly transferred him to the ICU and as soon as we rolled into the ICU he started seizing and became unresponsive and his abdomen instantly became distended. We quickly noticed (he was in the process of being hooked up to their monitors) that he had stopped breathing. I was unable to feel any pulses so we quickly started CPR. I taught the medical students to do compressions as someone ran to get blood, paged anesthesia to intubate the patient, started giving code drugs, paged staff to come to the hospital stat... I quickly ran to the OR and told them that we needed an OR now as a patient was hemorrhaging and would be dead within minutes. They told me that there was no room available, no staff, no anesthesia and therefore we would be unable to bring our patient back. At that moment I made it clear that this wasn't optional and we didn't need anything but instruments. Since the charge nurse was less than helpful I ran from OR to OR calling for any available help and managed to round up 3 anesthesiologists, a scrub nurse, and several other OR nursing staff. We grabbed an available surgeon who was in the hospital and wheeled our patient to the OR within minutes. The staff surgeon (who drove in at 110mph on the highway) ran in as we were ready to open the abdomen. As soon as we did we were met by 5+ liters of blood (an average adult has approximately 6 liters of blood). Staff told us we had one chance to get to the bleeding artery (a branch directly off the aorta) before he exsanguinated entirely. We succeeded and quickly controlled the bleeding as the anesthesiologists frantically kept resuscitating the patient. When we were done the room looked like a slaughter house. It was amazing!

The next day when I walked into the ICU I saw a man breathing on his own, talking and asking for more pain medicine. It was the most incredible realization that this relatively young man is alive without any real residual damage (other than a large scar on his abdomen) when he was within minutes of losing his life. I had fun walking around to the nurses on the floor that had picked up quickly on his unstable condition to tell them that their quick thinking was essential to his good outcome.

I spoke with the patient and without getting too graphic explained how miraculous it is that he is alive.

I am so thankful to have been an integral part in resuscitating this man!

Momentum

2009-02-06T17:16:00.002-05:00

I don't have many blogs on my Google reader, but one person I follow regularly is Mark Batterson. He is the lead pastor at National Community Church in Washington DC. He recently said,

I've always been convicted and challenged by something R.T. Kendall wrote in his book, Yesterday's Man: "A person with a tremendous anointing yesterday can continue to see the momentum of that anointing continuing to manifest itself. He or she may hastily conclude that 'the anointing is still with us' when it is but the momentum of yesterday's anointing. If I do not experience a fresh anointing every day, it is only a matter of time before I become yesterday's man.

This has been bouncing around in my head since I read it. Am I just living off of the momentum of my past or am I truly growing and allowing God to change and refine me?

25 Things

2009-02-03T19:12:00.004-05:00

There's this thing going around facebook where you list 25 apparently random or little-known facts about yourself. Since I actually have a free evening I thought I would give it a shot.

My Myers Briggs test flipped and apparently I'm an extrovert now. I used to be solely energized by alone time and now (maybe out of necessity) I am very energized by time with others. It's kind of fun being more extroverted. I do enjoy my alone time though!
I played a blue guitar for a semester in college. I loved it but I think all the girls in my dorm secretly loathed the guitar...maybe because I could only play one song but I loved it so I played it over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
I've been craving the Grasshopper shake at Ivanhoes for 9 months now. Sure I could make my own but it's just not the same. This weekend my college roommate Heather is coming to town and our whole clan from Taylor are reuniting for a day of fun including Ivanhoes.
I took voice lessons in college. I somehow got roped into a solo performance of some Enya song. I have blocked out the details, but it was amazing...amazingly horrific and appauling but oh so funny. I still sing along to Enya for a few privileged individuals.
I gave up Mountain Dew. It was a decision based on the high fructose corn syrup and desire to be a little healthier. Diet Coke is the new Mtn Dew.
I give the best musical performances while driving and trying to stay awake. I use props, interpretive dance, the steering wheel drum, and sign language (don't worry it's not all at the same time). I get some confused looks, but I'll never see those people again...right?
The Fray is one of my favorite bands and their new cd came out today. My copy is in the mail. I saw them perform a couple of years ago in the craziest outdoor concert. They had to turn all the stage lights off because the bugs were so bad they couldn't sing. Isaac Slade called it "Armageddon"
I am obsessed with exercise. The rougher the day at the hospital the harder I exercise. Not a wonder I'm in good shape right now.
I am a recovering people-pleaser. This year has cured me of any desire or effort to please others as I realized it is physically impossible to do so in a surgical residency.
I've got some freakish heart issue. I'm seeing a new cardiac electrophysiologist next week so we'll see what happens. It's thrown a wrench in obtaining disability insurance.
I like to read 5-8 books at a time.
I am so excited to travel around the world training surgeons in developing countries whatever specialty I decide to go into.
My neighbor does all my yard work, snow shoveling, house maintenance. He's amazing and I'm humbled by his generosity.
I am addicted to cornbread pancakes now that I know how to make them.
My two fitness goals for this year are to compete in another triathlon and to swim in the Big Shoulders open water swim on the lakeshore in Chicago.
I am actively serving in a very amazing local church. I am all in and so excited for our future together.
I probably have 6-9 years of training remaining. The future is still very undecided but transplant surgery is at the top of the list for now. I guess I like flying around in private jets.
I can't wait to go snowboarding again.
I dream of going to Antarctica someday as the physician at their station. Another option is the international space station (which my mom's cousin heads up) but I think the isolation would be difficult as a newly proclaimed extrovert.
I am insanely competitive at sports. It's not because I care about winning as much as I love playing hard and having a good game. 99% of the time I truly don't care about the outcome.
I am a diehard Colts fan. I dream of getting a blue foam colt head and cheering like crazy in Lucas Oil Stadium in an upcoming season.
I long for the day when I can go back to India. It's been over 5 years and I miss it.
I am a sock snob. If they don't have built in arch supports and just the right fit I won't buy them. I'm on my feet too much to go cheap on socks.
I have a recently revealed talent on the drums in Rock Band. I'm thinking of trying some real drums soon.
I miss my family and friends who aren't in Indy a lot. I am blessed beyond comprehension!

Snowboard 1 Angie 0

2009-02-01T15:45:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I went skiing/snowboarding with Brad, a good friend from my house church. I apologize for not having any pictures. The majority of skiing was nighttime so they wouldn't have turned out well had I had a camera with me. Your imagination will have to suffice.

The skiing was great. As Brad said, "it is like riding a bike" and I was quickly able to maneuver around thanks to lots of previous experience. My one fall was hysterical. I saw a ramp, gained speed and was surprised by how airborne I became. I landed fairly gracefully on both feet but was laughing so hard at my stunt that I totally lost it. When Brad came around the corner I was lying on the grounding laughing and rolling around. It was pretty funny.

After much prodding on my part we traded the skis for snowboards. I had brought wristguards for just this occasion knowing that just about everyone I know who has tried snowboarding has broken a wrist and my livelihood now depends on the functionality of my upper extremities. We carried our boards to the bunny hill- hill might actually be too generous, it was more of a flat clearing to learn to turn on. There was a treadmill to take you to the "top". Brad had warned me that I would feel fairly physically handicapped with one leg stuck to the board. He wasn't kidding. I felt like I had some congenital hip dysplasia that prevented any forward progress. When we got to the "top" I locked my other foot in and lasted about 10 feet before being forcefully thrown on my face. The wristguards worked though! Getting up was a serious struggle and one that I was determined to win as other newbies were barreling forward in my direction. I couldn't stop laughing as I was so shocked at the violent nature of this sport. This continued for an hour of so with unending laughter and rolling around in the snow. I told Brad that "our" goal would be to ride the ski lift and go down a real hill before the night was over. We indeed did accomplish the goal and miraculously didn't have to cart either of us down on a sled. There was a close call when Brad flipped end-over-end after losing control. We must have been a sight to behold!
Today I am quite sore. My knees are bruised but my spirit isn't. I can't wait to go back for round two!

Axiom

2009-01-21T22:20:00.003-05:00

I picked this book up thanks to the recommendation of Judy Gregory. (an amazing woman who is changing the shape of youth ministry in our nation whom I was privileged to serve alongside for many years).

As a doctor I naturally have a leadership position in the hospital setting, but I don't want to be leading out of a title but rather by my character and example. I'm only a few chapters in but here are a few quotes that really stood out to me:

…words really do matter. And leaders must pay the price to choose the right ones, because when they do, the payoff is huge.

The truth is leaders rise and fall by the language they use. Sometimes whole visions live or die on the basis of the words the leader chooses for articulating their vision.

When handled properly people are actually quite flattered to be asked to do significant things for God.

The first two quotes resonated with me as I have recently been made aware of the power of my words- both in destructive and constructive ways. I want to be a person who speaks intentionally and has the insight and control to know when to be silent.

The last quote struck me because I sense that significant things are happening in Indy right now with my church and we are asking a lot of people (myself included) to step up and do "significant things for God" (not that I'm implying we haven't already been doing significant things). Instead of the increased responsibility coming across as a burden I view it as an unspeakable privilege because of the way the vision has been laid out.

I'll keep you posted on the book, but so far I would highly recommend it!

Favorite Memories from 2008

2009-01-11T15:41:00.004-05:00

Graduation day- I might as well start with the obvious. This was one of the best days of my life. It was amazing to realize how far God has brought me and even more special to celebrate with so many people that I love.
The first time I introduced myself as "Dr. Qualey". I wish I had it on video. It was hilarious because it felt so weird. The only time I call myself "Dr. Qualey" now is when I need to get something done over the phone or can sense that people don't understand my role, but it sounds much more natural.
The day a patient told me I was treating him "like the Jews treated Jesus" right before Easter. It was priceless.
Closing on my first house. It was a fun process to choose a home and I absolutely love being a homeowner.
Random weekend days with my house church doing work projects/playing basketball and goofing off.
Flyfishing for the first time. Sure my form wasn't perfect but I caught fish!
Being baptized in the Jordan River. The obvious significance is that it is where Jesus was baptized, but knowing that this was where my maternal Grandparents were baptized made it especially meaningful.
"Swimming" in the Dead Sea. It was an odd sensation, but really fun. As an extra perk my skin and hair have never been softer.
Converting Arch and Connie's house into a Christmas wonderland.
Spending what ended up being my last few days with my Grandma. She was an extraordinary woman and one of my biggest supporters. She is loved and deeply missed.
Surviving a ram "attack" at the Grand Canyon on New Year's Day 2008. It wasn't so much an attack as a horrific encounter. If you desire more details click here.
Meeting Hillary and Bill Clinton. For good or bad they have influenced our country and it was fun to meet them.
Standing in line for hours to see Barack Obama speak. We almost got to meet him too but he was feeling antisocial or something.
Riding a camel in Israel. They are much taller than I imagined and they smell horrible, but it was worth it!
Camping at Weko beach with Tara, Amy and Erin. Beach volleyball in the rain and smores...need I say more?
The night on call when three people tried to die at once. It was an experience that made me stronger and everyone survived.
Flying to South Bend to procure organs. I've never felt more like a rockstar.
Climbing boulders with Heather at Joshua Tree National Park.
Countless Thursday evenings at Arch and Connie's engaging in meaningful conversations and hours of sports/games with cherished friends.
Sprinkles cupcakes with Shannon on her official LA tour.
Competing and doing fairly well in the TriIndy triathlon.

It's been a great year, full of incredible memories with people I love deeply. God is so good!

Climbing

2009-01-10T23:16:00.002-05:00

Just for the record, indoor rock climbing is a blast! My good friend Brad and I have gone a couple of times recently and are pretty convinced that we will be professionals soon. I'm thinking of giving up on the surgery gig and going with this fulltime. It is a phenomenal workout and a blast. If you are in Indy check out ClimbtimeIndy. They have the full range of difficulty levels and TONS of walls to climb.

Angie's Favorite Things

2009-01-10T11:28:00.003-05:00

In honor of Oprah's favorite things I have compiled a list of my favorite things from 2008.

My bianchi road bike. It is just that good. The road becomes a sanctuary for me when I'm out in the sun, reflecting on life and enjoying the view.
My sleep number bed. I probably average 5 hours of sleep per night but those hours are full of delightful sleep thanks to this bed. In addition my Homesource International bamboo blanket (best blanket ever!) and down comforter complete the triad.
My Biddeford heated mattress pad. Close friends are probably sick of hearing about it, but I look forward to climbing into a pre-heated bed in the winter time. It is amazing and it allows me to keep my house at "meat-locker" temperatures- per my family's experience.
My house. Not only am I thankful for a roof over my head, but a place I can come home to that is comfortable, clean and peaceful. Plus my neighbors do all the yardwork so you can't beat the setup.
My portable hammock- when the weather was nice and I had a little time off it was amazing to lay in the sun reading a good book or talking on the phone. Hammock= immediate serenity.
Smartwool socks- no matter what season we are in my feet don't overheat but they stay warm. They have athletic socks in addition to casual and hiking versions. They're not cheap but you can find them on sale oftentimes at the REI outlet.
Nike swimsuits. Since I've been consistently swimming laps I have found they hold up much better than TYR and even speedo.
Bosch dishwasher- this thing is amazing. I throw very dirty plates in and they come out sterile. It's quiet, efficient and easy on the eyes.
Diet coke- I'm very addicted at this point. I'm cutting back some but this beverage has gotten me through countless call nights, early mornings and roadtrips while sleep-deprived. Mountain dew used to be my drink of choice but I've made the switch from high fructose corn syrup to artificial stuff.
North Face glacier quarter-zip fleece tops- I have several and seem to always wear one when I'm in scrubs at the hospital. They are warm, durable, not too thick, and have stood up well despite very frequent washings. Since I fit into the little boys sizes they are fairly cheap too.

Life is not about stuff but these are a few things that I truly believe have increased the quality of my life. Some in very superficial "comfort" ways, but others in more meaningful ways.

Karaoke

2009-01-04T22:46:00.003-05:00

While in Nashville we went out with a friend of Tara's from high school who is trying to make it in the big leagues as a musician. Not only was her voice incredible but she was accepting of those whose voices are not as polished. We had a good time! I was amazed at some of the talent although it makes sense in Nashville. My favorite performance was when all 3 of us sang 'Wide Open Spaces' by the Dixie Chicks. Never underestimate the entertainment value of making a complete fool of one's self. Also, these pictures don't do justice to my crazy dance skills.

Aquarium

2009-01-03T02:18:00.004-05:00

Tara and I stumbled upon a restaurant called "The Aquarium" in Nashville where we had a fun dinner. Well, the food was mediocre at best, but the atmosphere was top notch. Afterwards we were able to feed stingrays. I have attempted this stunt in the past with very little success as it is too big of a mental obstacle to allow a stingray to place its mouth around my hand to feed. I know that the stingers have been removed and the nice fella told us that they can't hurt us but still. My disability insurance isn't what it should be yet. So Tara talked trash about how she had done this before and mocked my inability to truly feed the stingrays. Then it was her turn. She literally threw her shrimp at the stingrays. By the end of the time she came closer than I did but never truly fed a stingray from her hand. She declares that she did, but I was there and do not believe that she truly fed one from her hand. Anyways, here are the pictures...

NASHville

2009-01-03T02:12:00.004-05:00

Tara and I are having a great time exploring Nashville. While here I was hoping to run into a well-known musician but I didn't think it would happen. Today we were hiking around a lake, taking pictures of deer frolicking around when Michael W Smith appeared. Tara, not the avid fan from a young age that I have been, didn't know who he was but thought he was too good-looking to be a "normal" person. I immediately recognized him, but was hesitant to say anything since he was deep in conversation with someone. We tried to stalk him later for a picture to no avail. Carpe diem I guess. Here's the picture of his backside that Tara captured as he was walking away from us. FYI- for those who don't know he is one of the most well-known Christian musicians and has been for many years. He's now a part of the "Freedom Concert" series with Sean Hannity from Fox News.

Fortune Cookies

2008-12-29T16:38:00.002-05:00

Last night I went to a Chinese restaurant with the Mix family. My fortune said,

Your mind is ingenious and you learn easily.

Is it just me or are these cookies getting more and more accurate?

Christmas

2008-12-26T11:30:00.002-05:00

As I have been reflecting on Christmas a phrase Kay Arthur said while we were in Israel keeps coming to my mind,

In the House of Bread (the literal interpretation of Bethlehem is "House of Bread") the Bread of Life was born and laid in a feeding trough as an offering to the world.

Ice Ice Baby

2008-12-26T10:55:00.002-05:00

Tuesday night was one of the craziest nights of the year for me. There was a massive ice storm in Indy and I was on trauma call. Police responded to 888 accidents in Indianapolis and 14 ambulances were involved in accidents getting to the other accidents. They had to use fire trucks to transport patients to the hospital. To say that the night was busy would be an understatement.

In addition, I am on a string of trauma call every other day. It is pretty rough. I am in the hospital for 30 of every 48 hours for a week straight, including all of Christmas day.

There are two bright spots to this whole ordeal:

My wonderful family braved the weather and came to spend Christmas eve in Indy with me. We saw The Lion King musical which was amazing and went out to dinner with Arch and Connie. Of course we enjoyed watching ND destroy Hawaii.
Next week I am on vacation. I've got big plans for the week and it is going to be wonderful. New Year's Eve is going to be crazy fun!

The Animals

2008-12-21T21:47:00.003-05:00

Tonight I went with Shawn and Paul, two good friends from my house church, to Christmas at the Zoo. I was chosen to participate in the holiday dolphin show which was fun. I got to give the signals to the dolphins. We petted the sharks as well. I know I should avoid that until I get more disability insurance but who can resist the slimy creatures. It was freezing outside (2 degrees actually) but I love being outdoors with good friends at Christmastime.

We Like to Party

2008-12-21T21:37:00.003-05:00

Surgeons know how to party in style. We had our annual Christmas party at the top of the OneAmerica building in downtown Indy. I, with my good luck, won a giftcard to Maggiano's (my favorite Italian restaurant) for $50. A few of us went out for a fancy dinner beforehand and then walked through downtown's Christmas displays to the party. All-in-all it was a really fun night!

Quotationary

2008-12-08T20:14:00.002-05:00

I love quotes and my wonderful friend Tara Mix gave me a book called the "Quotationary". With the freezing weather and dark evening tonight I am lacking motivation to study or do anything other than be lazy(hence the surge of blogging) and I looked up enthusiasm. This quote by Samuel Taylor Coleridge has helped urge me to study,

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

In less than 2 months I take my first ABSITE exam (American Board of Surgery In-Training Exam). Yes, it is kind of like what George O'malley on Grey's Anatomy failed. It is a pretty big deal and my chief resident over the weekend urged me to take it very seriously. I have been casually studying for a month or two already, but need to pick up the pace. So, thanks Tara for the great quote to get me to study tonight instead of watching "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" in my heated bed.

I've got an ice-cold Diet Coke and a 2300 page textbook (a real page-turner) on my desk. Let the fun begin!

My Life is Ridiculous

2008-12-08T19:52:00.004-05:00

Sunday morning I came home after a long night of mending people from their stabbing and gunshot wounds (not really-I mostly do paperwork in the big traumas- next year I get to do more of the fun stuff). I was excited to clean up and take a quick nap before exercising and watching my Colts play (yes, they are my Colts. I even have temporary tatoos with their logo on them- thanks mom). As soon as I entered the house I heard this annoying chirp every 20-30 seconds. I assumed my fire alarm battery was dead which annoyed me because I just replaced it a few months ago and it was supposed to keep working like the energizer bunny. After pulling my battery out the noise didn't stop. Eventually I traced the source to a carbon monoxide detector in my house. This concerned me and it told me to move the alarm to an area with higher air flow which I did to no avail. Since I am compulsive I have a second alarm which I checked. It told me (or I thought it was saying) that my carbon monoxide level was between 254-256. If you know anything about this (which I didn't beforehand) this is a very high level.

At this point I was wandering around my house trying to figure out what to do. I was laughing and pondering how I get into such predicaments. I figured I had a little time to investigate so I booted up my computer to figure out if 256 was high, called the gas company, called the alarm company and everyone told me to call the fire department. I thought this was a little much but I really had no other option. They instructed me to wait outside and within 2 minutes I heard the sirens. It was a ridiculous scene with lights and sirens and 4 men on their large truck to bring a little handheld machine into my house and get an accurate reading. I must have apologized 10 times for the nuisance although I pointed out that I was considerate enough to do this before Colt's kickoff.

In the end they deemed my house safe to live in, taught me how to use my alarms (I'm a doctor not an engineer or computer science wizard), marveled at my beautiful road bike and trainer, tracked snow in my house, and suggested I get the furnace fixer man out to the house since the level is a little elevated beyond what could be excused by car exhaust and other randomness. Seriously, those alarms make no sense. I tried to read the manual before calling them to make sure I wasn't mistaken, but it is in a secret code. They laughed when they saw my manual and said it would have been ironic had I been found passed out on my couch with the manual in my hand.

All in all I now know all about carbon monoxide and am glad I have 2 alarms. I am comforted in the prompt response from the fire department which is 2 blocks from my house. If you don't have a detector go get one...or two!