When the Game is Over it All Goes Back in the Box

I'm reading this book now by John Ortberg and came across an interesting story today. I think I've heard it before, but it is worth repeating.

A man is being tailgated by a woman who is in a hurry. He comes to an intersection, and when the light turns yellow, he hits the brakes. The woman behind him goes ballistic. She honks her horn at him; she yells her frustration in no uncertain terms; she rants and gestures.

While she is in mid-rant, someone taps on her window. She looks up and sees a policeman. He invites her out of her car and takes her to the station where she is searched and fingerpirnted and put in a cell. After a couple of hours, she is released, and the arresting officer gives her her personal effects, saying, "I'm very sorry for the mistake, ma'am. I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, using bad gestures and bad language. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' window sign, the Christian fish emblem on your trunk, and I naturally assumed you had stolen the car.

Inexplicable Thread

In Sedona we visited an art shop (trust me it was Tara's idea) that featured the works of Launa. I normally am not known for my appreciation for art, but this art was incredible. Each piece is a mosaic of words. My favorite (the one I would buy if money grew on trees) is called "Inexplicable Thread". It is about the AIDS crisis and how we are bound to these individuals with an inexplicable thread and it is our duty and privilege to help. Check out her works at poetryart.net

Phoebe /Tara

If you've never seen Tara run, you should watch the episode of Friends called "The One Where Phoebe Runs" in season 6. I guess Tara doesn't run this way all the time, but occasionally she does. While we were hiking in Sedona she got going a little quickly down a little hill and truly ran like Phoebe. This wasn't the first time I've seen the phenomenon and it won't be the last.

Rental Cars and Crime

Prior to the last couple of months I had never rented a car of my own. It seemed like such a fun and simple process.

My first experience was in Phoenix, Arizona at what my mom and dad believe to be the worst airport for renting a car. I had been warned but I was determined to keep a positive attitude. After gathering my luggage I headed to the shuttle for a long ride to the rental car building. After a long line (well only 1 person was ahead of me but it took over 20 minutes to finish their transaction) I was so annoyed and tired (it was after 3 am by Indiana time) I just signed wherever they told me to speed the process up. There was never any indication that I was signing for extra services or fees. After waiting in a different very slow line to get the car I pulled away thankful that the experience was over. 3 days later when I attempted to return the car I learned that I had agreed to pay an extra $75 for insurance on the junk car. So $200+ later I leave Phoenix pretty annoyed with the rental car situation.

Fast forward a month when Tara and I rented a car in Phoenix. I made a reservation with a different rental car company and warned Tara that it could be a frustrating experience. Upon arrival at the rental car building we waited for 20-30 minutes for our chance to rent a car despite the fact that they had 4 workers "working". We quickly learned that Tara would have to be the primary driver, a role she did not wish to play simply because my credit card had been canceled due to fraud . After waiting in a different line to get our car we were given a yellow 2-door banana car. It was ridiculously small- especially since we had reserved a 4 door and had all of our luggage for camping, interviewing,etc.... At this point I had surrendered- I was ready to fit our junk in the little car and just leave, but Tara was ready for a "discussion". So we walked up to the agent (whom I feel very sorry for- really, his job would be awful!) and began to complain about the many problems we had encountered. End result- free upgrade to 4 door Hyundai and a discount on adding me as a second driver(I later learned that this was unnecessary, but they threatened that it would be considered a stolen car if I was caught driving it). While we were working this out a family arrived with a father angrier than just about anyone I had ever seen. He was enjoying the process even less than us! As we try and leave with our larger car, the man at the gate (supposedly an employee of the rental car company) tells us that we have the wrong car and that we need to go get new paperwork at the counter. I ask him if he could call the counter since after all, he is the employee and he works for us, the customers (and there was no way I was going to the end of another line). He didn't have a phone or any way of communicating with him. At this point Tara, being the bigger person, went and got the paperwork and they allowed us to leave.

Because of this debacle we missed watching the sunset on the grand canyon on New Year's Eve.

I'm over it now, but seriously, there is something wrong with the rental car system in Phoenix. When I rented a car in Orlando last week I never had to wait in a line and I got to pick my own car. Why is Phoenix's system so horrible? I have seriously never seen one customer in Phoenix who didn't get angry while trying to rent a car. It must be rough to work for one of those companies in Phoenix.

Beautiful Arizona

Here are some more pictures from my recent trip to Arizona with Tara. After 2 days at the Grand Canyon we spent a couple of days in Sedona and then traveled to Tucson where I interviewed at the University of Arizona.

Tough quote

“I am sometimes struck by thoughts of the hundreds of lepers Jesus did not heal, the thousands of people who died of ridiculous little infections during his lifetime, the blind or lame beggars who missed his passing by a few hundred yards or a few minutes. He healed so few! And I, who can heal no one, am reminded that being his presence does not mean fixing everything. Being among people means being in their midst, not outside. It means being with them, not being over them. It means not looking away from their agony or humiliation, but beholding it, and having the courage to be also wounded by their pain.” -Greg Paul

Rams, Javelinas, and deer...oh my!

Tara and I have managed to hobble home from our Arizona adventure (this wasn't a vacation). The swagger was partly due to our ridiculous amounts of luggage and extra purchases and also due to the fatigue and bruises acquired from our adventures. The highlight of our trip was our encounters with animals. I seriously felt like Dr. Doolittle.

The most memorable event was while hiking down into the Grand Canyon. While hiking I stopped for a moment to peer over a cliff and saw this pleasant appearing ram which quickly seemed enamored by our company. I thought it was great and was taking pictures unaware of the danger ahead for us (who knew a ram could climb a cliff???). So we continued walking (to Tara's credit she was quite hesitant to continue) and the ram was running parallel to us, but still separated by a cliff.

The drama all began when we lost sight of the ram and turned a corner to find the ram on the trail right in front of us. At this moment I was filled with horror but level-headed Tara remembered to stand still. I threw that out the window when it started running towards us (still with a large cliff on one side of us). I said something to the effect of "oh no, run!". So we took off running while I was freaking out in my head. This bighorn sheep isn't called a "Ram" for nothing. I occasionally turned back to see the ram still coming closer to us so we continued running. At some point I stumbled hard on both knees and truly thought I was dead. I thought the ram would simply throw me over the cliff, but we managed to continue to run. Eventually the ram went down the cliff and back onto the trail in front of us. It just turned around and faced us and stood there. So Tara and I stood there- she was crying and I began to wet my pants. We stood there in horror- I was calling for help and Tara was trying to call 911 and the park rangers. The "Blue Nation" known as Centennial Wireless failed us, but who knows if any cellphone would have worked in the canyon.

At this point I began gathering larger rocks for ammunition in case the ram came back for round 2. We just stood there against the wall until some other hikers came by and just stuck with them to get out of the canyon. I had to report our experience to the ranger who showed me a list of recent encounters with mountain lions, javelinas and other not-so-friendly animals. I would love to hike down to the bottom of the canyon someday, but after this experience it will require a man and a gun.

Later on our trip we saw multiple javelinas and tons of deer who weren't afraid to wander within feet of us. I seriously felt like Dr. Doolittle or Brian Fellows from SNL. The good news is we are home safely and have many wild memories!