Fortune Cookies

Last night I went to a Chinese restaurant with the Mix family. My fortune said,

Your mind is ingenious and you learn easily.

Is it just me or are these cookies getting more and more accurate?

Christmas

As I have been reflecting on Christmas a phrase Kay Arthur said while we were in Israel keeps coming to my mind,

In the House of Bread (the literal interpretation of Bethlehem is "House of Bread") the Bread of Life was born and laid in a feeding trough as an offering to the world.

Ice Ice Baby

Tuesday night was one of the craziest nights of the year for me. There was a massive ice storm in Indy and I was on trauma call. Police responded to 888 accidents in Indianapolis and 14 ambulances were involved in accidents getting to the other accidents. They had to use fire trucks to transport patients to the hospital. To say that the night was busy would be an understatement.

In addition, I am on a string of trauma call every other day. It is pretty rough. I am in the hospital for 30 of every 48 hours for a week straight, including all of Christmas day.

There are two bright spots to this whole ordeal:

1. My wonderful family braved the weather and came to spend Christmas eve in Indy with me. We saw The Lion King musical which was amazing and went out to dinner with Arch and Connie. Of course we enjoyed watching ND destroy Hawaii.
   
2. Next week I am on vacation. I've got big plans for the week and it is going to be wonderful. New Year's Eve is going to be crazy fun!
   

The Animals

Tonight I went with Shawn and Paul, two good friends from my house church, to Christmas at the Zoo. I was chosen to participate in the holiday dolphin show which was fun. I got to give the signals to the dolphins. We petted the sharks as well. I know I should avoid that until I get more disability insurance but who can resist the slimy creatures. It was freezing outside (2 degrees actually) but I love being outdoors with good friends at Christmastime.

We Like to Party

Surgeons know how to party in style. We had our annual Christmas party at the top of the OneAmerica building in downtown Indy. I, with my good luck, won a giftcard to Maggiano's (my favorite Italian restaurant) for $50. A few of us went out for a fancy dinner beforehand and then walked through downtown's Christmas displays to the party. All-in-all it was a really fun night!

Quotationary

I love quotes and my wonderful friend Tara Mix gave me a book called the "Quotationary". With the freezing weather and dark evening tonight I am lacking motivation to study or do anything other than be lazy(hence the surge of blogging) and I looked up enthusiasm. This quote by Samuel Taylor Coleridge has helped urge me to study,

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

In less than 2 months I take my first ABSITE exam (American Board of Surgery In-Training Exam). Yes, it is kind of like what George O'malley on Grey's Anatomy failed. It is a pretty big deal and my chief resident over the weekend urged me to take it very seriously. I have been casually studying for a month or two already, but need to pick up the pace. So, thanks Tara for the great quote to get me to study tonight instead of watching "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" in my heated bed.

I've got an ice-cold Diet Coke and a 2300 page textbook (a real page-turner) on my desk. Let the fun begin!

My Life is Ridiculous

Sunday morning I came home after a long night of mending people from their stabbing and gunshot wounds (not really-I mostly do paperwork in the big traumas- next year I get to do more of the fun stuff). I was excited to clean up and take a quick nap before exercising and watching my Colts play (yes, they are my Colts. I even have temporary tatoos with their logo on them- thanks mom). As soon as I entered the house I heard this annoying chirp every 20-30 seconds. I assumed my fire alarm battery was dead which annoyed me because I just replaced it a few months ago and it was supposed to keep working like the energizer bunny. After pulling my battery out the noise didn't stop. Eventually I traced the source to a carbon monoxide detector in my house. This concerned me and it told me to move the alarm to an area with higher air flow which I did to no avail. Since I am compulsive I have a second alarm which I checked. It told me (or I thought it was saying) that my carbon monoxide level was between 254-256. If you know anything about this (which I didn't beforehand) this is a very high level.

At this point I was wandering around my house trying to figure out what to do. I was laughing and pondering how I get into such predicaments. I figured I had a little time to investigate so I booted up my computer to figure out if 256 was high, called the gas company, called the alarm company and everyone told me to call the fire department. I thought this was a little much but I really had no other option. They instructed me to wait outside and within 2 minutes I heard the sirens. It was a ridiculous scene with lights and sirens and 4 men on their large truck to bring a little handheld machine into my house and get an accurate reading. I must have apologized 10 times for the nuisance although I pointed out that I was considerate enough to do this before Colt's kickoff.

In the end they deemed my house safe to live in, taught me how to use my alarms (I'm a doctor not an engineer or computer science wizard), marveled at my beautiful road bike and trainer, tracked snow in my house, and suggested I get the furnace fixer man out to the house since the level is a little elevated beyond what could be excused by car exhaust and other randomness. Seriously, those alarms make no sense. I tried to read the manual before calling them to make sure I wasn't mistaken, but it is in a secret code. They laughed when they saw my manual and said it would have been ironic had I been found passed out on my couch with the manual in my hand.

All in all I now know all about carbon monoxide and am glad I have 2 alarms. I am comforted in the prompt response from the fire department which is 2 blocks from my house. If you don't have a detector go get one...or two!

What I've learned in residency

Here are a few of the more interesting concepts I have gleaned from residency:

• Don't mind your own business. Everyone who gets shot or stabbed was just minding their own business. Seriously it's not safe.
  
• Watch out for handicap doors. There might have been a visitor coming to see a loved one in a bad accident who got hit by a handicap door, broke their hip, and had to have emergency surgery due to the internal bleeding. If it weren't for bad luck some people wouldn't have any luck.
• Don't try to jump onto a moving train. You won't be pleased with the outcome.
• Don't run away from a K9. Seriously, they will destroy you. I've seen the results. They're not a cute puppy, they are a dog trained to tear you to shreds and that is precisely what they do.
• More shots doesn't guarantee that you will kill someone. In one night one person was shot over 20 times in the chest, abdomen and pelvis and lived while another was shot once in the arm and was dead within minutes. It's a crazy world.
• Don't wait 5 weeks to come to the hospital if you haven't had a bowel movement. That's just crazy.
• If you truly believe a criminal placed a silicone implant in your belly don't try and cut it out, just calmly make your way to the hospital and we will straighten things out.
• Swallowing sporks is just stupid. Period.
• If you want to get out of prison swallow everything in sight. It will not only be amusing but will win you a surgery,narcotics and a cute nurse to wait on you. Do this more than once and it isn't amusing any more it is just annoying and a massive waste of taxpayer money.
• If you swear at the doctors trying to help you it won't win you better care.
• Calling 911 to get an ambulance to bring you to the hospital for a pregnancy test really does happen. What a broken system we have!

Demotivators

There is a website called Despair.com. If you haven't been there before you need to go. It is hilarious. It is the opposite of Successories and every once in a while I go there for a good laugh. Here are a few of my favorites:
Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.


Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.


Tradition: Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.


Achievement: You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.


Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.