Change

Today is the deadline for 4th year medical students to certify their rank lists. I'm sure the anxiety level is incredibly high across the country as we wrap up our part in the doctor draft.

My rank list is nothing like I would have imagined it to be a year ago. It is bold and there is nothing safe about it.

I keep thinking about Mark Buchanan's book "Your God is Too Safe" that I read a few years ago. The phrase used repeatedly throughout the book is from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe when Susan asked about Aslan (the God figure), "Is he quite safe?" Mr. Beaver responded, "Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King I tell you."

I never want to shy away from change or risk out of fear. If I look back on my life to this point it is the moments of risk that have shaped who I am and what I am about. My first trip to India with complete strangers was scary yet I saw on that trip enough to remind me of why I am becoming a surgeon on even the hardest days. Choosing a more expensive college where I didn't have any friends was hard, but I knew I needed to be at Taylor and those four years were pivotal in figuring out who I am and what I believe (and I graduated with some incredible friends!). Getting on a plane to head to India all by myself was terrifying and yet those two months have been one of the defining points in my life.

Here are a few quotes that have been encouraging/challenging to me.

"Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you'll be forever in the control of things you can't give up."— Andy Law

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."

I'm a rockstar wannabe

I love this game! It is my all-time favorite video game. I haven't played much, but when I do it is a blast! Tara, being the wonderful friend that she is, borrowed a PS2 from a friend and Guitar Hero III, so for the past few days we have logged some serious hours playing this game. So far I beat the game on the medium level and am working my way through the hard level. I think playing the violin for most of my life has helped tremendously.

There is something beautiful about vacation time and quality time with others. I am so thankful for this time to invest in relationships!

Chicago Craziness

On Saturday Tara and I decided to head to Chicago and try and find a good last-minute deal on a ticket for a show. As we were waiting to buy tickets for a show Tara saw the sign for a drawing for $25 tickets in the front row for Wicked. Being flexible we decided to go for the raffle and just see if we could get lucky. It turns out Tara's name got called and before we knew it we were sitting in the front row right in the middle for Wicked. It was amazing! I laughed like a little kid so much because I was just blown away by the experience. It spoiled me and I will have a hard time ever sitting in the nosebleeds for a show again. I actually could see their faces, keep characters straight, understand the smaller jokes and funny lines, watch the orchestra, and admire the finer details of the show. Afterwards we met the stars of the show and took some pictures. The girl here played Elphaba- my favorite character. If you go to Chicago go to the Borders next to the Wicked theater at noon and sign up for the raffle. It is worth it!

Set The World On Fire

I just heard this song by Britt Nicole yesterday and love it! The lyrics are incredible and pretty much sum up what I'm all about. The video is here performing it in a studio- pretty incredible for a live performance.

"Set The World On Fire"

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do

I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

Erwin Mcmanus

Erwin (yes we're on a first name basis) is the lead pastor of Mosaic Community in LA. God speaks through this man in profound ways. This video (about 2 minutes long)is from the Catalyst conference a couple of years ago and has really challenged the way I think about being relevant.

Random Thoughts

• Who knew that speedo makes goggles that correct vision for $17??? Why did I do a triathlon in open water blindly? I am thrilled that Dr. Morton directed me towards this wonderful option! Escape from Alcatraz here I come...

• I can't believe my dad is so intensely following American Idol. Who would have guessed?
• I'm blown away by reading about Amy Carmichael (more to come on this later)
  
• One month until match day! Yikes!
  
• My quadriceps still hurt from a workout on Saturday- maybe I need a new motto as opposed to "go hard or go home"
• I can't wait to go to Israel in less than 3 months
• It's hard to believe I will actually be living in my apartment in Indianapolis for the next two months instead of out of a suitcase as a nomad

I miss India

A while back I went with Priti ( a classmate and friend) and her family to a Garba. This is an Indian form of dance that began in the Gujarat state, where my friend's family is from. It was a really fun evening of dancing in circles, eating, learning how to dance with sticks like in the Bollywood movies, and just learning more about the culture my friend has grown up experiencing. Since we danced in our barefeet I had some serious blisters afterwards, but it was well worth it. I miss India. I hope to travel with her in India someday- at least that is our goal. What a great friend!

Paintball

For some reason I have been obsessed with playing paintball recently. The first time I played was at Sherwood's Forest with the youth ministry at GCC. I remember being in a village of little 2 story huts to hide in and try and avoid being hit while doubling as a sniper. It was a blast.

Before moving to Indy my good friends Tara and Amy took me to a place in Elkhart to play. Not only was it incredibly fun, but the three of us beat three seasoned men on more than one occasion.

I thought paintball would be the perfect family activity after my graduation ceremony. Apparently my mom thinks that is the worst idea ever- well the second worst. The worst idea is that I want to play paintball for my bachlorette party someday right before a wedding. I guess some people don't find welts to be attractive. Whatever.

Texas Fiesta

I had such a fun week in Texas. I spent most of the first two days with Rigel. We visited Moody Gardens where I saw my first real life sloth. It was so cool!

He took me on this unbelievably fun fishing trip to Sabine Lake by the Gulf of Mexico for some salt water fishing. Our captain was Randy- a crazy man. I would highly recommend him as long as you are ok with being called "baby"and "honey". He yelled at me quite a bit early on for my poor form with casting, but luckily for me that is how I learn best. I did improve and eventually was able to cast almost as far as the boys. The day was AMAZING.

I spent the next couple of days with Heather, my college roommate ( I think her ridiculous sunglasses really brought out a new side of her in this picture). We took a trip to San Antonio and stayed at a nice hotel by the riverwalk. We ate lots of good food (including an overpriced snickers apple), walked a ton, and talked forever. It was wonderful. I wish I could see her more often.

Then I spent a few days with my Aunt Julie and my Grandparents. It was great to see all of them and help them some. I love their shitszu and have a hankering for a puppy now. Unfortuately I'm sure I would get reported for neglect as I have no time to take care of an animal.

I'm Done

I just certified my rank list. CRAZY! I'm done (unless I have a serious change of heart). I am very satisfied with my list and would be THRILLED to match into any of my top 8 or 9 programs. It's amazing how clear some parts of my list have been and how uncertain others have been. It's bad when weather.com is referenced multiple times to try and differentiate programs. My advisors say I should match in my top 3 but I'm trying to be a little more realistic. We'll find out on March 20th. I can't wait! What an adventure!

Get The Lead Out

Tonight in Indy we are having some severe weather which is of particular concern for me in my high-rise apartment full of walls of glass (yes, the view is amazing). From my apartment I am able to see a theater in Indy that is hosting the off-Broadway "Jesus Christ Superstar". Tonight just as the tornado sirens began the show was letting out. I have never seen people move so fast! I personally would have stayed inside, but I guess they wanted to just get out of the city. Of course I left my room and headed to the beloved basement. Now the roads are flooded, the winds are howling and I am enjoying the light show. Good times... I wonder what it will be like if I end up in Florida or South Carolina...I'm sure I would get efficient at boarding up windows.

Sabbath

Dr. Bob gave a great message last night on the importance of taking a Sabbath. This is a subject I am quite energetic about. Early on in college I began practicing this discipline and have never turned back. I don't understand how or why people brag about how busy they are. That's not healthy and it takes a twisted mindset to take pride in that.

It is truly amazing the way taking a day off reorders priorities. As important as my studying has been (and trust me I've done tons of that) I have grown in lots of other areas. Friendships, opportunities for service, exercise, and devotions have all benefited from the Sabbath. I have no regrets about the way I used my time.

The best part is that as we honor God with our priorities and time He gets us right where He wants us to be. I truly believe my six days of work were more efficient and effective because my mind was fresher and better rested. My grades and board scores have placed me in just the right position to be competitive for residencies that are the best fit for me. I wouldn't be happy at The Johns Hopkins or other such programs (or the programs on the other side of the spectrum) and am glad I didn't spend any more time studying worthless minutiae to be competitive there. I am going to end up at at an incredible program, just a humane one. I plan to never have an instrument thrown at me and to stay under the 80 hours/week rule, which isn't the case at some "upper tier" programs.

God knew what He was doing when He commanded us to rest- to step back from work and use our time for other purposes. God is good and faithful. It is amazing what happens when we take Him at His Word.

New(er) Music

I just heard of this artist last week while watching "One Tree Hill"- a show I am a shameless fan of. Her name is Kate Voegele. I bought her cd off of itunes ($7.99 for 14 songs) and haven't stopped listening. She has incredible vocals and so far I'm enjoying what I know of the lyrics. My favorite songs are "It's Only Life" and "Kindly Unspoken". Check it out!